Please help, how do I learn to come to terms with this breakup situation?

So, my ex and I broke up... the breakup was more or less mutual, because towards the end it just "wasn't working out." before summer started, we had a really great relationship. A LOT of things in common, enjoying each other's company, intimate, etc. etc... However, he had a 6-week trip over summer with his camp outside the country. Before he left, he stressed how much he wanted to be with me and "swing back into things" when he got back. But, he told me that he felt like "calling it a break" over a summer was the best thing to do since it would mean less stress for the both of us in terms of a relationship. He let me know that hooking up with a girl was possible but he wouldn't go out of his way to do it... and if it happened, our "break" would prevent it from being an act of him cheating on me. So, for whatever reason I agreed. At least he was honest about the possibilities. The summer was full of stress and tears on my part (we hardly spoke and I was paranoid what he was up to), and when he came back he told me he felt really happy/excited/ready to be back in a relationship with me. However, when I found out that he DID hook up with a girl (he was honest when I asked), I grew unhappy and this caused issues in our relationship. He wasn't aware just how much it affected me, but it showed through unrelated arguments and general discomfort between us. Two weeks later, we broke up because I was unhappy and he didn't feel ready to handle a serious relationship, BUT he really wanted to stay friends. 3 weeks into the breakup he's admitted he feels less and less for me and is focused more on friends. I found out the girl he hooked up with goes to our school (all three of us go to the same high school), and I see the both of them every day. I still feel for him a lot, but I'm so mad about this hookup even though I gave him consent to do it (so to him it's justified), AND he's expressed how much he's moved on already. how do i come to terms with all this and move on?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Quit being around him as much as you can help. Find something else to focus on, or someone else. Time is your only cure. Distraction is your treatment until then. Don't linger on any thoughts related to this longer than you need to. Don't be afraid to express your frustration to those you trust or just to yourself privately. It helps.


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