I cut off my ex/best friend and know I did the right thing so why am I still upset about it?

Yesterday, I cut off my ex because he told me he had nothing to say and was too busy to deal with this "stuff" from a text I sent him the night before that he ignored about how I didn't like how he was treating me and I was done with it. We broke up almost five months ago and we were the best of friends when we dated. We agreed to stay that way when we broke up but I didn't like how he was treating me the past few months and in the past when I tried talking about it, he would just say get busy to distract yourself and to let go of the past (though I didn't want him back) and he begged me to stay his friend and to not listen to my friends' advice because only we know what's going on. I held on because he was my best friend, the first guy I could fully be myself around. He told me he would always want me around because I was the only girl who could ever handle his weird sense of humor and his bullsh*t.

But what hurt me is that he didn't seem to care at all when I recently tried to talk things out with him. After he said all of those things to me. I think he might have been mad that I have been ignoring him most of the time for the past two weeks but I didn't know what else to do but I know I can't make excuses. He would act like nothing was wrong. I know I did the right thing by cutting him off because I now realize he wasn't the best boyfriend so why am I still extremely upset and crying over him? I miss him terribly though it's been a day.


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  • I think you're upset because you're reading the situation wrong. You say you 'cut him off' . . . but only after you tried to 'talk thinks out' with him and he didn't want to. . . Um well yea? What more is there to talk out? You broke up, ya gotta let go. Guys like things simple quick done move on. . . you are still rehashing the past when it's been almost 1/2 year. He decided he was done with doing that and that pissed you off, because he's not giving you the attention you want. So now you think you're going to 'get him back' for hurting you, by cutting him off. All you're doing is pushing him further away. If there was ever a chance of the two of you rekindling your relationship, you've about killed it now with your childish and dramatic antics. You say you don't actually want him back, but your actions, words and feelings seem to say otherwise. I would suggest you stick with your no contact rule here, give both him and yourself a break. Let him come back to you if he decides he still wants to be friends. Which, isn't very likely because it's pretty hard to actually be your exes friend. This means supporting him when he falls in love with someone else, can you do that? Do you even want to be there to see it? Friendship after break up is typically an illusion, it's really two people who are trying to let go but just can't quite do it yet, so they conveniently title it friendship.

    • Excuse me, I'M the one being childish and dramatic? You're the one reading this situation wrong. No I didn't cut him off because he didn't want to talk things out, I was going to cut him off regardless. I wasn't trying to seek revenge, I knew it would be better for my well-being since I was suffering from the treatment I received from him. I know I deserve so much better and I'm more than willing to move on. I'm definitely not trying to talk to him. Sorry I'm not gonna stand for being treated like sh*t. I understand he's single and can do what he wants but I'm not emotionally capable of dealing with that especially when he would rub it in my face. He took me for granted and everyone I talked to agreed with me. Even HIS friends. We were FINE for the most part until the past month or so, when he moved away back to school. You don't know exactly what has happened between me and him so don't judge what you don't know.

    • It won't let me post a comment to respond to you, so I'll write a different post here. If all you wanted was to cut him off, then you CUT HIM OFF. There is no conversation about it. Whatever you want to say/tell yourself to justify your actions/feelings go ahead. You'll look back one day when it's not so close to you anymore and see more of the truth. If he treated you like shit, he obviously isn't your friend, is he? If he treated you like shit, why are you entertaining talking to him, or his friends at all? This is a problem you have with yourself, not a problem you have with anyone else.

    • No I'm not the type of person to just cut somebody off without an explanation. If someone was cutting me off, I'd want an explanation first. Treat people the way you'd want to be treated. So there is a conversation about it, especially because of how close me and him were. I've seen a bunch of the truth already. His friends became my friends too and THEY were the ones to reach out to me whether it was to hang out or reaching out to me to make sure I was okay from the breakup. Don't assume things about me. I'll admit I have my issues that I need to work on him not being in the picture anymore will be easier for me plus I know it's just not fully my problem he has done many many things to me that I haven't even talked about. SO STOP ASSUMING UNLESS YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

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