He cheated many times, I took him back. I had a flirtationship, he found out now he wants to leave. What do I do?

So my boyfriend of almost 7 years has cheated on me numerous times with numerous people (including my best friend) and I took him back. Wehave children together and I love him. He has bbeen faithful for about a year and a half but recently, one of my exes contacted me online. We started talking and developed a flirtatious relationship. No nudes and no physical contact at all. My boyfriend found out and is ready to leave because of it. I think we should talk and try to rebuild our relationship with each other but he hasn't said much to me. What should I do? Please no negativity. I know I screwed up.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he got a taste of his own medicine and thought it to be bitter.

    Can't really blame you considering he cheated on you constantly. You're doing what you can, you're trying to rectify but it's unfair of him to hold this above you when he himself has caused you so much more grief.

    Do what you can but if he's unwilling to try, then you know what you'll have to do/accept. Sad but, better to face the truth sooner than later.

    I do wish you the best of luck and hope it does work out for the better, your family gets stronger

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    • Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I appreciate it.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Well at least we know your BF is smarter than you... you should have bounced the 1st time he cheated and not given him 7 chances.

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    • Thank you for your opinionāœŒ

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    • Excuse me, NUMEROUS times, not 7. I made an error.

    • Tis true, but still, you have to admire her forgiving spirit. Some learn, some don't, he clearly didn't learn and felt a pinch of his own medicine and it was bitter

  • He must be really attractive. Hence why you stay with him despite all the wrong things he had done to you. I say leave him now. You are bettet off without him. If he keeps on bothering you after you leave him, you can always issue a restraining order. You should have left him earlier. Now your past can make things more difficult for your future relationships. Who knows how much your future ex can impact your life in the future. You really do not want him in your life.

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    • Lol. He is attractive but its more about my family life at this point. We have young children and he is a great father. I know he was wrong for all he did, I thought I could move past it. We all make mistakes. I have changed a lot over the years and so has he. I just don't think this situation merits him leaving.

    • Yeah, but him cheating it's okay. While you are only having a bit of a flirtatious relationship, he flips out? See, that's not a real man right there. I am not sure if you want your kids to have a father like that.

  • ditch him ! its about time. you deserve better.

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  • Tell him to FUCK OFF!!!

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What Girls Said 6

  • Your bf has serious double standards. He cares only about himself and himself alone. If he really cared about you and your children he wouldn't have done what he did all those times. And now even considering just leaving beacuse another man has some interest in you but no harm has been done, i would say he is a douchebag. Also, he has no commitment to anything, 7 years and children it would be time you two were married or at least for him to be faithful. Seems to me he is around you and kids while its pleasant for him, but doesn't settle just to have the option to fly away at any moment and at any excuse. Don't you think so?

    It's hard gal, all those years and all that forgiveness and love invested in him to the trash. But do you deserve that? A dude who will just leave at any moment? If its not now it will happen at another point, can you live for the next x years knowing that he will cheat again (that is a certainty) or he will leave because I don't know his pancakes didn't have enough syrup?

    I would say, even if its very very difficult, to end your missery now and find someone who deserves you.

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  • I uh... think you should have left the first time he cheated on you, and every single time he cheated on you after that... so yeah, it's not probably what you want to hear, but it sounds like a good time to part ways.

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    • Thanks for responding. Its been difficult to maake the decision to leave because I love him and we have children and I don't want to break up my family. I know most women wouldn't put up with it but I am a very forgiving person.

    • yeah, that actually changes things. We're no longer just considering you but your children as well. I think what I had to say, now that I know you have kids, should be taken into consideration, but you need to keep in mind your kids. You probably already know that though.

  • Sounds like a toxic relationship. Let him leave.

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  • Are u kidding me? U did nothing wrong. Ur bf is a piece of shlt. U should dump him now for what he did in the past. Don't let him get away with this behavior

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  • He did what YOU should've done to begin with. Forget about him.

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    • He hasn't left, he says he wants to. I don't know where we stand right now since he is barely talking to me.

  • This is going to sound harsh and I'm sorry, but the thing is, he has you right where he wants you. He cheated and you took him back, thus giving him permission to do it again... which he did. What you call forgiving, he calls a doormat. Right now, he's not even remotely upset about what you did... he wants you to come begging him for forgiveness in order to insure the "doormat" status is still in full force. That he still has you wrapped around his little finger and apparently you are. Here's how this will play out... you'll beg for forgiveness, he'll make you work for it (which is what you should have done the first time he cheated) and eventually, he'll forgive you... but because you fought soooo hard to get that forgiveness, you'll never do that again... and he knows it. So life goes back to normal for him... good wifey stays home, stays faithful, stays a doormat while he can continue doing whatever he wants... but that's not all... the big prize for him at the end of all this, is now he'll feel justified for cheating anytime he wants from now on BONUS!!! So here's what I suggest... leave him now, find a man who will love you just as much as you love him and will respect you... stop being in a one-sided relationship. Your kids see you being a doormat and they will grow up to be the same.. do you really want your kids living the life you're living now?

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