Should I stay friends with my ex?

We broke up about a week ago after a month of dating and a few months of "talking". It was neither of our choice to break up, his family made him break up with me which I find very hard to deal with because we were really happy together and I have strong feelings for him still. He still has feelings for me too but he doesn't want to cross his family since they are paying for his college and I don't want to be the reason he drops out or has to transfer or the reason him and his family break apart. He basically said we have no chance at a relationship unless his family somehow stops being racist ( we're an interracial pair) or wait 3 years until he graduates. We have not had sex so there isn't that aspect.( we are strongly attracted to each other though) I don't want to lose him in my life because he's important to me but I don't want to hurt myself being friends and watching him move on some day and watch his family accept the next gf because she's his color.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • With what I am reading and what I can tell you right now, no matter if you both were hooked at the hip, married with five kids and living in Hosh Kosh----This guy will always be married to his family. No one, not even Queen Mary, would have a fighting chance...
    Once he stands for This, them paying his way in life, he will always be stooping for whatever poop they decide to throw his way, just to keep him tied to their apron strings. I see the sure signs... I hope you can too now, sweetie.
    His family comes First, No matter What sweet treat comes his way, and you are better off moving on, starting over, and finding a man's man who is not hooked to the hip with his mom and dad in his holster.
    It Continues with 'Racists,' and will never stop with whatever else comes to 'Made up our mind'... The pictures are not in black and white here, but in full color for me to get a good look at The----Big Picture Instead. The writing is on the wall, he is just etching it in Cold stone for you.
    If you decide to hang in there, on a whim and a prayer, with even a 'friend till the end' factor, you will most likely 'End' up getting Not only 'Getting hurt,' but being back stabbed besides.
    Good luck. xx

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    • The thing is it's not his parents, they're alright with it, it's the grandparents who are paying for his college that have the problem because they're old and from the south. They're basically trying to take everything away from him and turn his family against him for dating a black girl.

    • Still it is All in the family, and what is worse, is when the Monarchs are in on it, then it becomes a family affair... Stay clear, it is going to be trouble... Nothing you do or say will ever be good enough, they will want you to live by their standards, and the racists remarks will somehow be implied... He is hellbent on doing what they ask of him...

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What Girls Said 2

  • I would hold off on friendship for awhile. Give yourself some space and focus on you. Once your feelings (and his) subside and you feel you can be his friend without the romantic aspect, go for it. I'm sorry you're in this situation. It's heartbreaking but it will get better. Hope I helped.

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    • The hardest part is that he was my first good relationship with a nice attractve guy who treats me right. Like it's hard to get over the what if part for me

  • ex won't be next friend

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