So I've been together with my boyfriend for almost two years. This is my first long relationship and he's not paying attention to me anymore. I'm really feeling like this isn't right anymore. He won't let me leave him, and all he does is explain it like "I think everything's ok between us"... He never wants to do anything I like. I'm a very excitable person and I like doing unexpected things=> he's completely the opposite. He plans everything. In the end we can't really do anything together cause he never wants to do any of the stuff I like. It makes me sad that he's never interested on anything exciting or he never surprises me with dinner or something like this... He likes to sleep and watch sports on TV or play some games. We don't even text or call anymore, but I kinda feel like I'm bound to him... Most of the time he comes over we don't even sleep in the same bed anymore, cause we just can't... I don't want to hurt him, but do I have to?
Anyway I want to believe there are other guys I could date, but it's difficult to consider something like that after such a long relationship. How do I leave him? really.
Most Helpful Guy
Shitty. It sounds like a dead relationship walking.
That two year mark is a benchmark, that's when new relationship energy has generally worn off and the heightened emotional connection, that makes it seem like 'everything is awesome' fades out and is replaced by the regular behavioural patterns.
Your description is not one of a relationship of love, it is a relationship of familiarity. You two may say "I love you" to each other, but that would most likely be habit, forged when the relationship was supercharged with NRE and everything seemed perfect. You will have feelings for each other, but they will be more akin to how you 'love' a good friend. You don't want something bad to happen to a good friend of yours, you don't want a good friend of yours to be hurt or anything.
What you are in is unsustainable, and eventually one of you will begin to chafe. Which, sounds like, is happening with you now. If you try to keep it as it is, you will eventually start getting resentful, and you will eventually end up losing the possibility of even remaining friends, you will actively start to hate him.
It will be hard to make a split because he is most likely your main source of emotional support by this point. So you will be doing something that requires a huge amount of emotional support, while removing your main source of that support. It's why these things can get so hard to get out of, and why relationships end up dragging on for years past their best-before date.
But know that it can be much better than this. This isn't the state of 'all' relationships after 2 years. It isn't the normal state of things. Everything is NOT ok between you too.0
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