Why does he say this? Someone please help?

My ex bf "assumed" i betrayed his trust and will not change that.. i told him I've never meant to hurt you on purpose and understand if your scared to get close. I've apologized many times because i was judged for something that isn't true but he feels it is.. he has told me before he holds no animosity towards me and wants us to be friends. Than recently he told me we cnt be together right now because he can forgive but he can't forget.. so to me isn't he still holding that grudge? What should I do if he seems to still have feelings for me as well.. do u think time will heal or u have to do something to convince him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let him go. You can't fix the past. It ended learn from it and move on. You can't beat yourself up. Just say I'm sorry. I learned a lesson. Sorry I hurt you. Sorry you couldn't get past it. Hope you find happiness. You keep focused and go in a positive direction... the right may be just around the corner. That's how it happened for me.
    You're not defective. You can't make him move on or love you.

    Been there before. Nearly drove myself crazy for year getting there, though.

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    • I guess right now what I am really battling is the fact that it hurts so much I'm being judged for something I didn't do. Many people have hurt him and I was trying to do my best to show him I'd never do that instead his insecurities got the best of him. I remember him crying so much as if somebody had passed away and he wld tell me why? But I didn't :( we were planning on getting married.. we work together so we see each other on a weekly basis and when we are together it's like deep down he's hurting as much as he can show his feelings from time to time

    • That's tough. It is always hard early on... I went through something similar. You can't control it. Continuing to try will hurt you and him. He has to decide that you are more important than his issues. Besides if you can't make it through this life only gets harder...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly just let it go, he won't ever forget about it (i assume he thought you were cheating), even if you didn't do it. My ex girlfriend went to a party without me and grinded on literally the whole football team. I was pissed and almost broke up with her but then we worked it out but after that I never trusted her the same. For the next 9 months I was always concerned about what she was doing and yeah that sucked. So best bet is just to become good friends and thats probably the best way you can gain his trust back

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    • Sorry about your situation If I was u I'd be upset too.. as for me.. he looked through my phone twice and it seemed like everytime he did my dumb ex bf wld randomly text me "hey babe" my bf assumed something was going on. people said i was like his trophy gf and I always felt like he thought he wasn't good enough for me and wld feel jealous if a guy wld simply say hi he wld question if there was more or the next guy wld win me.. but in the end I choose him and that's all that matters.. he says however I am a cheater and I disrespected him.. it hurts so much because i love him and he really loved me.. he tool a whole yr just to convince me to be his bf and give him a chance. He offered me the world if he cld.. i hate that he's hurting because he feels I didn't care when I love him soo much.. I'm broken and so is he but for the wrong reasons :(

What Girls Said 1

  • I have been in this situation sort of my x told my bf something happened between us... which never did but my x was gaining information as we had social connections... so for my bf and to save my relationship because I loved him i cut all ties with these people I stayed with him as often as I could and he stayed with me the rest of the time. I have two children and the situation became difficult the stress to much and killed such a perfect relationship. He claimes he still wanted to be friends but then turned weird we sti spent all our time together and had sex but we were over... nothing good will come of this situation it will always be cast up even if the trust of his you betrayed was to let his cat out while he was away fpr the weekend and you didn't... he will still see that as betraying him and if he has stated he can forgive but won't forget then he won't and any time this could be cast up and cause severe upset...

    My opinion no time will heal he either let's it go or it will destroy the pair of you

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