Letting Him Go. Was this the right decision?

I posted a blog a week ago about dating a guy who was left by his wife six months ago for another woman. I met him through my co-worker and we just hit it off. The feelings were mutually extremely strong. He got drunk one night admitting he was falling for me, I felt the same. I was staying the night often, we were having a blast. His sister warned me, saying be careful he's not looking for anything serious. We talked about what he was ready for and he felt very conflicted, saying everyone was saying it was "too soon," that he was still technically going through the divorce, even though his ex wife was already living with another woman, he said he didn't feel he was ready for a committment, and kept saying, I want to take this slow and just have fun, see where things go. One night over dinner, he told me he had dated my political science teacher... odd. I asked him an honest question, did he talk to other girls? He said he did, actually, what he said was that he talked to a girl who lived in florida and that it was impossible for anything to happen. He said he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. I asked if he wanted to talk to other girls, he said he felt he owed it to himself. Right there in that moment I decided I needed to let this man go, as much as I didn't want to, I owed it to him. He begged me not to, saying that he still wanted to hang out with me even if we didn't sleep together. He kept saying dont run, dont run. I think this was something so unexpected for us both, that he didn't anticipate finding this connection with someone at such an imperfect time for himself. I think he's trying to establish what it means to be a single unmarried man, what it means to be himself! That and I think he's afraid, and afraid of what people will think. I told him that hanging out was a bad idea. I felt it would probably escalate because of the feelings there, and would defeat the whole purpose. After only one day of no talking he messages me saying I hope you're ok, that

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it was the right decision. You handled it very well. He needs some time to sort himself out. He's going through a divorce, his wife left him for a woman (that in and of itself would leave any man confused and shatter his confidence), he want to be with you and talk to other women (he probably needs to reaffirm to himself that he can still be attractive to women) and he has friends telling him that he's not ready yet. He's going to need more than six months to sort this all out and decide what he wants to do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it was the right decision to let him go. If you have strong feelings for him and he's just not there the same way you are right now, it's not going to work out. He's probably kind of emotionally unstable right now since he's going through a divorce and probably needs time to not jump into another serious relationship yet.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Let's say it is because of the divorce... and that he is just confused and needs time to heal, blabla. I think you do need to stay away from him, he has the potential to hurt you as he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself and will eventually sleep around with other girls.

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  • no need to go on and on.. he wanted to keep you on his meat list and you weren't going to have it.

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