How to heal from some what of a emotional abusive relationship?

How to heal from a narcasistic/manipulation/controlling/used/deceitful relationship? When you loved the person, but they never loved you but they loved to control you , then when they couldnt do that , they threw you away.
Im only now realizing this was how it was. It was a lie. A man in sheeps clothing that was a wolf. I never got a chance to show him how hurtful he was to me, cause I was brain washed. Now after everything is done. My eyes are truly opening. But I feel like I need to tell me what he did to me. But he would never listen since absusers never think they've done anything wrong or won't admit it or something I'm not sure. But what do I do, please help me. I feel like I'm dieting inside.

Updates:
Also very first relationship I've ever been in. I feel like ill be tainted for life. He was 28 and I 20

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am so proud of you that you got out of that relationship. I experienced one similar to it and to be honest nothing could make me feel better other than time. It feels so much better now that I am single. You must feel so free and refreshed right now. If you feel as though you will ever go back to being with him just keep thinking about all of the negative things the relationship brought you. Not even the positives.

    Immerse yourself in activities and you have to confront yourself about you feelings revolving around who you once were. Building stones and ignoring your past self will only make it worse. So I strongly recommend confronting yourself, even if it involves a lot of heartache and low self esteem because you feel as though you are a nit wit and stupid.

    There will always be that fear for future relationships but just keep reminding yourself that not one single person is the same. Of course there are going to be controlling people like that, but there are also good people out there.

    I hope you feel a lot better. Experiences strengthen an individual for future. So from this, hopefully you learn to always be a strong independent individual. Feel free to message me if you need help :)

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    • Thank you for your response :). Still trying to figure it out. But this has helped.

    • No worries, I am glad that I was of assistance.

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  • I completely understand this. I have been in a narcissistic relationship. Brain washed is exactly how I feel. My head is still consumed by him. I want to make him realise and understand just what his actions have done to me even though I know he will never get it and even if he does he will just feel sorry for himself. I still have this want in me to be in contact with him, like an addiction. Even though the thought of being in his company fills me with dread and excitement all at the same time. Its kind of like, i know i can't be with him for my own good but i don't want anyone else with him. I have to stop the contact, I have to get him out of my life. He is toxic and has pushed me to brink of madness. I really hope you can find a way of moving on fast and any tips you have please share with me :)

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    • I feel exactly the same as you. Still trying to learn the best ways. But I'll for sure share with you when or if I do :) And thank you for your response.

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