Should I Not or Will It Make It Worse?

My husband has told me he's unhappy. I'm going to be returning home from vacation soon and I'm not sure I want to make love to someone who told me he wasn't sure if our marriage will work out or not.

He said we'll work on it but can't guarantee any certain outcome.

Am I wrong for not feeling comfortable making love to him now? Why would I just give my body to someone who isn't happy in our marriage? Why shouldn't I?

I'm so hurt and confused. We just had a baby and I do suffer from post partum depression so I've been a little rocky lately but I gave him sex regularly (a few times a week) and have done things for him I never thought of doing.

We've only been married 2 years. I'm a mess. I don't want him leaving us, but if he wants to, I don't want him just using my body for his pleasure, you know? But I miss him and I can't wait to be home. I want to make love to him so badly but I don't want to have meaningless sex.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Firstly, take a step back. Of you are dealing with ppd, he very well could be unhappy because of that. I know when I had ppd, my partner was unhappy as well. I think you guys could greatly benefit from talking things out. If you want to be intimate with him, go for it. It isn't meaningless sex, He lives you and you two had a baby together!

    • We have talked but he doesn't want to talk to me about it. He wants to figure it out on his own.

      I don't know what to do. I know I can get mean when I'm mad but this is the first time he's ever done this. He won't even talk to me much on the phone. Only when I absolutely need something. I'm a mess..

    • Show All
    • I've been out of town for 2 week with our baby and he's went to a concert and had his guys over. So he's had plenty of him time. Plus he always has baseball games on Sundays. He went by himself each time.

      Though, we were a lot more happy before she was born... I guess this is all new and just hard and I completely take it out on him.

    • Yea. Being a new mom is very hard, but it is also very hard to be a new dad. If he is feeling like his new chapter in his life also collides with you being rather difficult, it is no eowonder why he may be unhappy. I'm not saying that you are in the wrong, but perhaps you are not using productive means to deal with our own issues.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • How long has he been unhappy? Is he aware of your condition?

    • He says he doesn't know how long he's been unhappy... but he does but he just doesn't understand. He tries but our relationship hasn't been this rocky - ever.

    • I suggest counseling, to understand your PPD and to better understand each other. For if we cannot understand something, then how can we possibly fix it?

What Girls Said 1

  • you guys have to talk things out and work on it first. I see your viewpoints and concerns. right now I would probably start getting my financial ducks in a row bc if he's saying he's not sre itll work out so soon after the baby you need to protect yourself so you aren't left in a bad position

    • You're right. Unfortunately, I don't have a job anymore because our baby had colic really bad and he just doesn't handle it well. He gets irritated and told me it's best to leave my job because he couldn't. He's in the military.

      I really hope that's not the case though.. I've tried talking it out with him but he doesn't want to talk to me about it. He wants to figure it out on his own.

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