I'm a man in my early 30s and my ex is 26. We dated for a year. She was a wonderful girl and we got along very well for most of the relationship. I was into her, but she was actually more into me. However being a independent business owner I had hit a rough patch for about a year. She was well aware of it, but very supportive. As time went on I found my self tense, depressive and constantly complaining about my money issues. I also felt under confident about my position in life. I drive a beat up car, rent and have about 5K in credit card debt. She drives a slightly better car, has money saved up and lives in a nicer place. She tried to help me with budgeting and even offered me money a few times. I refused it because I wanted to be the man in control. I also felt like "I didn't deserve her" and it was influencing my sexual confidence. One time after some drinking I blurted out "why are you hanging out with a loser like me". I'm no loser, but I do high expectations for myself in life (I come from a well off family). I'm a little bit of perfectionist and if I don't get what I expect in myself I get depressed. I actually wanted a temporary break from her to straighten out my own life... but I feared losing her for good. Sure enough she eventually dumped me (although part of me wanted it). Since then life has been shitty until I recently got a good job offer making almost twice as much as I do right now.
She moved on quick and might be with someone else (but I don't know for sure). If she is, I have to accept that. However I was thinking about taking a gamble and texting her "hey I got some good news, lets get some coffee". I just want to tell her I'm doing a lot better and if she ever wanted to start talking to me again... I would be happy to talk more.
Most Helpful Girl
Not allowing someone to help you can often come off as 'you aren't capable of helping me' so she may be a little sore from that still. Sounds like you directly link your attractiveness and worth to your financial success, aside from your woman troubles I'd really try and look into this for your own sake. What if you were to have a run of bad luck for a while and things weren't so good? would you revert back to how you were? Feeling useless because you don't have some bits of green paper in your pocket? You need to address this self worth issue before you move further along I think, it will be beneficial to you and help you make better decisions in your life when you feel better about yourself.
- Show AllShow Less