Your thoughts, and please think along with me, thanks in advance:)?

ok so I've been dating a girl for a month , all went fine, doing all the bf/gf stuff, kissing, intimacy etc... and things seem to go the right way. out of the blue i received a text message, after visiting her family and friends in Poland , ( she is a single mom ) saying that we cant/ aren't allowed to be together. she really seemed into me, but ok to keep it short. she started acting weird, at work she hardly talkd to me, went hot and cold, flirted with me once. she shows some serious traits of borderline pd, to make things more complicated. 5 days ago was her birthday, we haven't spoken to each other for 1 week, she blocked me, on fb and whats app, for no reason. i had 2 keycxhains with a picture ffrom her and her daughter in it at home. i had them made before she came back and i received that confusing message. yesterday i deceided to put a small note along with the key chains in an envelope and gave it to her. it said, these keychains belong to you, i want you to have them, because it makes me feel good. they belong to you. the picture inside means a lot to me, because you shared that moment with me. by the way i haven't forgotten about your birthday.

its not me being needy or to friendly, she is the one who left me for no reason and who can't give me closure, not that i want closure, i still like her a lot, and can't see what went wrong.. if its borderline, there is not much i can do. one moment they love you, the other moment they hate you.. it feels wrong for me to give her something she doesn't really deserve, thats what my mind is telling me, my heart is telling me, i did the right thing. i dont hate her, and i dont want to. something special did happen between us, so im honourable and still let her know that she plays a part in my life by letting he rknow tha ti haven't forgotten about her birthday. did i do the right thing, i want a normall contact with her
update, did i do the right thing, i do want her back in my life, no matter what
share your thoughts with me, thank you a 1000 times


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you absolutely did the right thing. I don't know what's going on in her head when she broke up with you or what her reasons were but your a great guy and you deserve closure. Her and her child may have a place in your life but since you are no longer together and she is busy sorting out issues I think it was best that that key chain didn't stay in your possession and that it was handed back. Using it as a birthday gift was accseptable because in all honestly just handing it to her and saying you made it for yourself because you care about her and her child woul dmake her feel guilty and then you would be wrapped up in whatever issues she brought back. The best thing for you is to find a woman who is ready to settle down and make a family of your own. You deserve that if not more. Hope I helped xx

    • thanks for your kind words, i hope she did read the little note and likes the keychains. So far i haven't found a reason to give them to her, since she cut me out of her life like that. since 2 days she seems to be somewhat friendly with me, we at least say something, and sometimes she looks me deep in the eyes, like something is bothering her. i did try to talk to her a few times, she always did seem willing to talk but the things bothering her never came out. deep inside she is a very troubled and confused person, she never speaks about her emotions, even when we were together, she talked about being alone, evne if she did like my pressence. i dont know what she has going on in her life, but i do know woman like to talk, she never did. i hope one day she realizes that i am a great guy, who has a sincere interest in her and her daughter. she does look at me, and seems uncomfortable in a way, like she isn't completely happy about her decision. if she only would speak to me.

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    • wish more people would respond

    • I think she is playing you along and you shouldn't even try and go for her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • What you did was very nice.
    As far as her behavior goes he could feel that getting to serious with you will cause some sort of problems with her daughter (she will start thinking of you as her dad and then u might up and leave etc)
    Or she has been thinking about this for a while and just didn't know how to put an end to it.
    I'd bet on the first option but you must confront her (in a civilized manner) the sooner the better!

    • I can still see she is confused, our eyes only meet when others dont see it, there are moments we both dont look at each other and there are moments, that we can't keep our eyes away from each other. yesterday she gave me a little smile, i think in a way to thank me for those keychains. I've tried talking to her several times, with no clear outcome. i ll be nice to her at work and let her know that i still like her in a way but far less obvious. then within a matter of 2 weeks or so, i will ask her for a casual meet up. if she wants to see my new appartment or go for a coffee somewhere. or pick a movie with me, ill try to come up with something. ill try to make her laugh, i feel if i try to talk to her again, she completely shuts off. maybe i need to try and respark that old flame, and the feelings she has for me. I've tried to often to get a honest answer, maybe thats the reason she banned me. i want her to unbann me but first a casual meet up, seems the best way, or?

  • You didn't do anything wrong, you did the right thing.
    I think this is really about her. Being a single mom and I don't know what else, she has to consider more than just her feelings. But liking you or not, it seems she already made the decision of cutting you out of her life... I'm sorry.

    • thx, i have mixed feelings about that envelope but in the end, i did what my heart told me to do. she did block me, on fb and whats app, but we still see each other on a daily basis. i do notice that she keeps looking at me, sometimes we stare each other deep in the eyes, when i look in her eyes, i can tell she doesn't hate me, but something is bothering her. it looks like she doesn't want me to be gone, but she can't handle things right. its like she is scared, i know it when a girl loses interest, but i never caught any signs of her losing interest. we werent together for 18 days, and in the beginning she texted me a lot, sending me pics. i missed her 18 days. i wanted to meet her daughter, i dont know what happened back there, and i really wish that one day she does seek contact with me and speak. deep inside i know she has feelings for me, or had them, they simply can't be gone like that. she deserves a better life, then she had so far. i can be that person

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    • no i dont want to ask her to move in with me straight away. she has a kid, that would be really dumb insisting something like that, when things are going to good. ofc if things would go good she can stay as often as she wants, i dont mind. i want to show her im doing fine without her, maybe to start a reaction in her thinking process. huhm i dont think she is the quilty type, she also seems to be very good at acting like i dont excist. she only looks and smiles at me, when others dont see it, she also did this when we were dating and everything is fine. i dont mind because maintaining a relationship on the workfloor could be complicated sometimes but not impossible. she isn't very fond of showing her emotions, in real person. she isn't comfortable to talk about any emotion happiness or sadness, i do want to give it one more shot, but in the meanwhile i look for other woman as well, i can even bet she doesn't like it one little bit

    • In my opinion, she's not a nice lady and doesn't seem that interested in you.

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