Why is cheating the end all when it comes to relationships?

After someone cheats, they're regarded as scum of the earth and not worthy of happiness. I knew this guy one time. Very nice person. Haven't kept up with what he's done lately but he's a good person regardless, and I can't really say that for much people. Had a wife and dedicated most of his life to a homeless animal shelter, finding them homes and always being a very stand up guy. Dude cheated on his wife. I'm not gonna try to sit here and defend him because personally, cheating is kinda fucked up, but when you take it to the level that other people do, it's the worst possible thing you can do to someone next to raping them and pillaging an entire village.

It makes no sense.

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Would feel appreciate for some insights.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because when someone cheats, its like what did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough? You said you loved me, how could you hurt someone you love? it destroys trust and it hurts, it hurts sooooo incredibly much that it takes every inch of your strength to not break apart, and it doesn't stop hurting no matter what the person does, sure you can forgive them and choose to stay and work it out, but that thought is forever in your mind, it sits there like a toxic bug that you can't squish, its all you see when you close your eyes to sleep at night, is the one you love doing that stuff to someone other than you, and you destroy your brain trying to comprehend why they did it, and what they were thinking which obviously wasn't thinking of you, then you get paranoid that whenever they are alone, its what they are doing again, and again, and again. Take it from someone who is experiencing all of this at this very moment. I discovered my bf cheated, twice within 3 weeks that I was away, one of which was no more than 3.5hrs before I was due to arrive at his place by bus, and I chose to stay and try to work it out, and its not easy I can tell you.

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    • I know its hard to dump him when you are the one who is being cheated on, and I know that if you dumped him, he can simply find other girls to fuck with, but then again, what he did to you was very unfair, and you considered being dumped by him if take a look at it. He is a betrayer and a cheater, and you shouldn't stick to him ever again, its very unhealthy for you, so you MUST leave him now! I swear to you that he WILL do it again!

      If I were there, I would fucking drag him out of your house, and beat the ahit out of him for you. I know violence is not the way. People like him needs to learn how painful it is being cheated on.

      So please I am begging you to leave that asshole!

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    • That is majorly fucked up.

      Ironically he is pretty much doing the same thing just like his father. He shouldn't follow his foot steps, he should learn from him and not do it to YOU... How can you endure that kind of behavior? OMG Girl, please leave this guy alone, I feel sorry for you.. :\

    • I guess its cos I am a stupid stupid girl and want to believe that people can changd

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What Girls Said 11

  • Monogamy is a social construct that has been ingrained in our heads since birth. The fact that its a choice and not exactly natural is not something that's discussed.

    Besides that, when you marry, you make a promise to be loving and loyal. By cheating, you break that promise and betray your partner.

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    • Thanks for the comment, gorgeous! :)

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    • So many variables lol @cavmanier

    • Yeah just do whatever feels good.

  • It is the BIGGEST indicator that there is something MAJORLY wrong with the relationship, and it is one of the easiest way to tear apart every shred of trust your partner has in you. Those are some pretty solid reasons as to why it's such a big deal. Not to mention it can wreck your partner's self esteem for months or even years.

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  • cheaters are a pack of selfish scum bags. especially the ones who are married. you promised things to each other. the fact that they would destroy and risk being with you, just to put their dick into another women vagina, is low, very low.

    they have no self control, and obviously they don't love their partners. otherwise they wouldn't cayuse such an emotional damage to their SO.

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  • I guess it does not matter if he seems to be a good guy that does not change the fact that he cheated that is another side of him obviously a side that is not loyal

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  • Cheating destroys trust in a relationship... Men cheat because of sexual fantasies they have, insecurities, not being good enough and because they give up on trying to make thier relationships work, nothing to do with love. Women cheat because they are missing something from their current relationships. Yes a married couple takes vowes and promises, but if they break them it's not like their dick will drop off. They don't care obviously. If something really bad were to happen, it still wouldn't stop them. Men are dareing and impulsive, they don't think about 'what if' and the consequences until thier life comes crashing down around them and they play the 'feel sorry for me' act.

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  • most of the time it is the end , but some people do try to work through it, depends on the individuals. Trust is the most important thing in any kind of relationship , but once trust is broken, Its like a car without gas, you can stay im it as much as you like, but it won't go anywhere. Nobody likes to be betrayed, especially by someone who says they care about you. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and a life time to repair. I would rather be attacked by my enemy, than hugged by a false friend/bf. I value anyone who offers me loyalty, but I only owe my loyalty to those who dont make me question theirs. Once someone lies to me, every truth becomes questionable

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  • only fucking cowards cheat

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  • This may sound crazy but some women in relationships do not tolerate cheating

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  • Because it's the ultimate breaking of trust. If he doesn't want to be faithful to me, then I can't be with him. Of course it's not the worst possible thing you can do, but in a relationship it's a killer.

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  • I made a commitment to you. I gave you my love and my heart and my body. I agreed to stop dating, hooking up with, or even excessively flirting with other men. You told me you wanted to only be with me and asked me to date each other exclusively and i happily agreed because I thought we could build something together. Maybe even a family. I made that promise to you because you proposed it to me and said you will do the same because you cared for me and I was someone special. I had sex with you and opened my heart to you. I closed myself off and made you the one special man to me. I never nagged or asked for commitment you did. And then to find out the promise is all a big lie and you are still looking for someone else and dicking around when our relationship is not even bad? Yeah that hurts like crazy. It's the thought that the emotional commitment means nothing to you and so much to me.

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  • I think that some people are just genetically designed like that.
    I forgave my ex 3 times before I finally divorced him because he would always blame it on not being able to control himself and that no matter how hard he tried it's something he must do... I always thought that was bull and didn't believe him but now that we are divorced and I'm getting over him I think he really is like that for other reasons that just being a jerk.

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    • Genetically designed? That is ridiculous. So you are saying his family were born on this planet to make more sins in front of the eyes of god? *big sighs*

What Guys Said 4

  • It's the end of all in relationship because the foundation for that relationship is trust, and cheating demolishes that trust. A building can't stand without a foundation, can it? Well a relationship can't hold without trust.

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    • Bingo!
      Also the most important part of the vow is to always remain monogamous. Cheating breaks that promise. That ONE promise that should never be broken!
      THAT is why cheating is a dealbreaker. I can forgive bad personalities if they honestly desire to chnge (wether they manage to change or not), but cheating is something i can't forgive in a relationship.

  • Cheats are are as bad as rapists, u let somebody get that close to u and then find they cheated so really they lied their way in to your bed and as good as raped u. Never understand cheating its better to end the current relationship if your not happy and then go do what u want x

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  • I don't believe that monogamy is natural or necessary. However, by entering into a relationship under those pretenses you are a liar if you break your word. More so if you have children as it has a negative impact on the child. I had a gf once who cheated on me. It didn't make me hate her so much as I was disgusted, and upset at her. I think people know the pain of rejection and therefor know how much cheating can hurt others. Therefor it is abhorrent when a person does so.

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  • Depends on why he cheated, in my opinion. If she was not willing to help him fulfill his desires DESPITE asking at least TWICE in order to fix the problem, then I think it is perfectly reasonable and she had it coming. But only then.

    The real problem with cheating though is how you are basically lying to your partner about what you are and are not doing, it is extremely dishonest. Basically you are cheating on them physically, emotionally, AND you lie into their face. It is pretty extreme, actually.

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