My bf came over yesterday and broke up with me. His reasons were that he finds that he isn't ready for any type of bf/gf commitment and due to his past divorce he is afraid of long term. He said that he still wants things to be the same where he comes over to hang out or text and call me etc. I told him that I am in love with him and that by him texting and calling me it would hurt me knowing that he doesn't live me that way anymore. He told me that he is selfish and he knows he needs to see a psychiatrist for help with his issues. Meanwhile he wants me to stick around as his friend. To complicate things the day he broke up with me was the day we found out I was 1 month pregnant. He is trying to process everything and told me that he feels like a jerk dumping me before we found out I was having his baby. I knew that even if we knew that fact before it wouldn't have changed how he felt. He told me he had been feeling this way for a long time. I feel hurt that he knew how he felt during my bday and all of the times we were intimate. I felt like everything was a big lie. Granted, he has helped me in the past and even now when I was battle a rare spinal disease and he has been my support. He wants me to be there as his best friend while he goes to therapy. I asked him if we could work on us after he sorts himself out and he said that he couldn't give me a definitive awnser without going to therapy first. It is hard for me to look at him as my friend and now we throw a baby into the mix. I love my bf and I want to be there for him; but I'm so beyond hurt that I can barely cope. I am mostly upset that he didn't tell me how he was feeling and that he simply wants me to put on a happy face and go through life as his bestie as he figures everything out. I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay with him as his friend as he starts therapy and if he wants me than great and if he doesn't oh well? Do I disregard myself for him? Or do I just Suck it up and do it for the baby's sake?
Most Helpful Guy
So this guy stood by you during a difficult time in your life and he's too scared to ask you to do the same. Love develops over time and he does recognize and appreciate the affection you have towards him. Before you start attacking him maybe you should look at this from his perspective; years of emotional distress that he's been dealing all by himself never burdening you with any of his problems realizes he's been leading you along and decides its best to end things as amicable as possible only to find out he has a child on the way. Lets put it this way if you love this guy and want him to love you than stay by him. Because if you leave him now (than add a child into the mix with the battle of support, visitation, and custody) all he's going to do is hate you.4
Most Helpful Girl
Many of today's toms are sporadic, unpredictable And More and More----Grow Cold duck feet when cornered or scared, quickly running back into the murky waters from which they Should have stayed and never come out of. This bird brain is no exception to my golden goose rule and with everything I am reading here, my pot simmering and Ready to boil Over-------He needs More than his head examined-------He needs to be taken away in a caged paddy wagon.
I am reading between the lines here about this loser 'Lap jumper.' He Decides when the going gets too rough, the waters getting too high, to Jump ship at the Most inopportune lock, stock and Baby barrel, because he doesn't want to be there for you when you Need him the most. His Feeding time lame duck excuses of not wanting to be hooked at the hip, his past with a divorce and his Squawking is Not flying with me, ruffling a few of my own feathers to boot. This Running rooster is this Dead beat dad even before the egg's cracked. He's Not even a 'best friend' but Wolf in sheep's clothing who has known how he felt before he dropped this Bogus bomb on you, deciding to blast off on the Day of The-------Not so blessed event.
He may have been your knight in shining armor with your illness, but where does that you Leave now? Nothing has changed, has just gotten worse. He is No longer your life support, let alone any future plans of even Child Support. He is Making it all ME ME Now with wanting you to be there as a bestie bud for his therapy, put on a happy face while he figures things out. It's Not about You and Yours anymore. He already Has it all Figured out, he is using you to ride his pity wagon for the Guilt trip he is Now on.
Get off this Nightmare Nowhere. It's a train wreck waiting to crash and burn. 'Disregard' And Dump him. If you 'Suck it up,' he will end up Just 'Sucking' More of your self respect and Life from you. Find another avenue... He can't be trusted, this fair weather friend.
God's blessings. xx2