How do I convince my husband a separation is best for the both of us?

For years now our relationship hasn't been the same. He has been acting like a jealous ass for months now because he's less interested in sex where I'm more interested lately. I've never even looked at another man let alone cheat. I can't take the fights and accusations anymore. When I suggested a separation of course he accused me of just wanting to sleep with someone else. How do I convince him that we are better off just being away from each other for a while?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • don't separate this easily. you guys are married. you should see your relationship as one for a lifetime. therefor you have to WORK on things together than just take the easy road and leave him.
    right now, you're being selfish. you are not happy (which i dont blame you) but you cannot just leave him and throw away what you once promised.

    tell him exactly how you feel. tell him that you want the guy back that you once were happy to get married to. do fun things together. travel, go on dates, refresh your relationship. people have their ups and downs. especially when you're together for a few years. couple counselling is a good option too.

    i am a strong believer in marriage and i feel like once you promised, you should see it as a responsibility to make things work.

    Being away from each other for awhile won't change anything. Well, maybe your sexual partners but that's it. To run away from probems never works.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I haven't come to this decision lightly, I've tried every one of those things and so much more, no matter how much I try its not going to work without any effort on his part.

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    • i agree, and trust me i feel the same way about marrage as you. respect that you could take his behavior and cheating for so many decades. i hope everything will work out for you. just let him see what he loses if he keps this going

    • thanks for MH. I really hope you guys will make it work !

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's something he would have to see for himself. Right now being apart is best for YOU. Your ready to bail and stated you can't take the fights and accusations anymore. Your tired and frustrated. Separation usually ends in divorce. While he probably will acknowledge the rocky road the last few months or even years he probably doesn't see his jealousy as that big a deal (even though it is and hurting your relationship). If your that tired of him just ask for a divorce, file it and move out. You can always reconcile or get re-married. I don't believe is breaks in a relationship if it's meant to be and should be continuous, problems should be talked about and worked out and if it doesn't break up.

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    • I see your point , I don't usually believe in breaks either, I'm just not sure if I'm ready to throw 24 years away just yet. Thank you for your thoughts.

    • Sad. I'm very pro-marriage and love hearing and seeing people in 20,30, 50 year marriages. It's so uncommon now. Hope he sees how much your hurting and looks within himself to change or go back to the way he was.

  • Please forgive me, but if he does not understand maybe you should be the one to put distance between you! Then maybe he will see that you are serious?

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  • Have you not considered counseling?

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    • Been there done that after he had an affair.

    • Did it help? I mean, for that issue?

      This sounds like it is different -- do you think it will be helpful in this situation?

What Girls Said 2

  • When was the last time you and your husband went away together? When was the last time you both broke out of the daily routine? Maybe you and your husband need to reconnect and sometimes all it takes is driving out of town and have a romantic get away at a bed and breakfast. Start dating again. I highly recommend watching Fire Proof your marriage, You can find it on you tube.

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  • How long have you been together? What do you two share together? Family, kids, house? You've been together for so long, and bringing up a separation of course he's going to lash back? Who wouldn't be hurt by that. But just think about everything before you make any crazy decisions, my family went through this scenario and it wasn't pretty. Just make sure it's what you really want.

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