I tried breaking up with my boyfriend, but he wouldn't let me. And then I slept with someone. Is that cheating?

I tried breaking up with my boyfriend of almost two years, a week into college. It wasn't working, he turned into a wreck. Crying, always wanting to call me, wanting me to come home. He never wanted me to go to college in the first place. I couldn't deal with it, I was trying to focus on school. So I tried breaking up with him, to let him loose, so his whole life wouldn't be about worry about me. And he wouldn't let me! He just cried and kept blaming himself, and begged me not too! I told him i wanted to break up, and he didn't want too. I still loved him, but I could balance the two. It was a really awkward drive back, and he dropped me off at my dorm. Even when I was inside he stayed in the parking lot, still asking me to come home.

We didn't talk for a week, and I was miserable, so I started drinking, partying, didn't give a damn about school, and I slept with someone.

Still didn't talk to my ex/bf? Tell three months later, and then he asked if I cheated on him.. I don't think I did? But I feel like I did. And it haunts me. But we weren't really together? I don't know, do you guys think that's considered cheating?

  • Cheating?
    Vote A
  • Not cheating?
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • People can't "not let" you break up. If you say you're breaking up, you broke up. It doesn't require his agreement. He sounds unstable and emotionally manipulative and controlling. If you want to go to college, that's your choice alone, not his, and any decent mate would encourage you to better yourself. If your relationship was worth keeping you wouldn't have broken up with him when you left, you'd have put in the effort to make it work

    You may have delayed the breakup out of pity, so technically you might say you cheated, but the relationship was basically over. You shouldn't feel guilty, and you should definitely dump him decisively.

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    • Also, getting drunk and sleeping with strangers at parties is a pretty unhealthy way of dealing with misery... maybe you just feel ashamed of it on your own terms. That's understandable. But you don't owe anything to your ex.

    • Thank you. 🙏

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What Guys Said 3

  • you broke up with him and he went crazy. that's not you cheating. the guy tried to keep you from going to college instead of being sportive like a good bf. he clearly wasn't good for you and needs to grow up. he sounds borderline crazy and controlling. id be careful with this. its the kind of thing where he turns all stalkerish on you

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    • I know, and I m glad I got out. It was not a healthy relationship at all. He hasn't turned stalkerish, for what I know. but I know he is still very choked, because in his mind I cheated on him.

    • stay away from him and keep on the lookout

  • First of all yes you did break up with him. Second if he wasn't willing and happy for you to better yourself by going to school then he's not worth it! The problem I have is the fact that you started drinking and not going to class and sleeping in and with someone you didn't know! Not the smartest thing to do! Nothing wrong with drinking and letting lose a little but be careful! No reason to just "whore" your self out! No offense!

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  • ask your boyfriend to stop being sissy and be a man

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    • I feel like he was just trying to hard to hold on, because he knew ( before I knew ) that a break up was going to happen, if I went to college. Which I feel bad, because I kept telling him no way! But I didn't realize how overwhelming school would actually be. Yet, to this day he still HATES me because he thinks I'm a cheater. :/ which makes me feel guilty.

    • don't feel guilty, i mean if he cares about you, he should do stuff that makes you really happy

What Girls Said 1

  • Nope not cheating. You broke up with him and he couldn't accept that. That's not your problem or fault. If you are with him now, don't say a damn thing. I don't care what people say, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

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