My ex-boyfriend is flirting with another girl even after telling me he's been "focusing on his friends"?

So, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up a little less than a month ago. The breakup was more or less mutual, but we both still had feelings for each other when it happened -- long story short, he was gone all summer and when the school year came along we no longer "worked" well together. We both really wanted to pick things up again after summer, but for some reason things just weren't right any longer; he didn't want to continue making me unhappy, and felt like he wasn't ready to give me what i want in a relationship. It was my first serious relationship, and I believe the same goes for him. At first he wanted friendship but needed space until he felt better about things. Finally, 3 weeks into our breakup, he let me know that after spending time "reevaluating" himself, he's been focusing a lot on hanging with friends and acting differently. He said he feels less and less for me because he's come to terms we didn't work out, and doesn't want to hurt me any longer. So yeah, he more or less moved on in the span of 3 weeks. But anyway, we go to the same high school and see each other very frequently (we share 3 classes and are in the same advisory group). given that I see him around often, I've noticed a few things: he's always super happy and talkative in class. He doesn't seem to be affected by my presence, basically as if i'm just another stranger (whereas i feel pretty emotional whenever i'm in the same room as him). also, despite telling me that he realizes he's not ready for a relationship AND is "focusing on friends," i've noticed that he's been flirting a lot with the new girl whenever we're in class. i just don't get why he does it, especially since i'm right there watching and it's so soon after our breakup/he told me he's focusing on friends. i know him and don't think he would ever do this to make me feel jealous -- he expressed how he doesn't want to hurt me any longer. what's his deal? how do i learn to feel better about this?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he likes his new found freedom. The best thing you can do is try to move on, don't let him bother you. Heck, if it makes you feel better, flirt with some dudes in front of him. (But that's only if you want to be a little evil;P) but seriously, don't let him bother you.

  • Simply move on with your life and don't worry about what he's doing.

    He is freely able to either focus on friends or flirt with other girls. That's the reality of things after a breakup. The bright side is that those things apply to you as well.


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