I feel hurt because the guy I had a few casual hookups with told me he was "seeing" somebody?

Well for a few months I was occasionally seeing a guy that lived almost 2 hours away from me. He is a contractor and often came to work in the area I lived in. We had sex when he came to see me and would snuggle and talk afterwards. He was always very tired and typically went to bed around the time I got off work. He always talked about how he wanted to keep in touch with me and that sometime he was hoping he would get a chance to take me to dinner or something...

Well it had been awhile since I had heard from him so yesterday I decided to text him and ask him how he was doing. He responded shortly after and then when I texted him again it was not until hours later that he told me he was seeing someone actually.

Even though I did not feel committed to him like I did with previous partners, it hurt me a lot more than I thought it would. I guess it confuses me a lot to since when we first met he came on to me sexually right away. I honestly have a hard time picturing him truly caring for someone and wanting to be with them only... Then again, if he was using this girl I don't see why he would've told me about her.

When we first hung out, I do remember him telling me that he was talking to a girl previously, but was never home so nothing happened with her. I am almost thinking that this could possibly be the same girl. I did not love him or think about him everyday when he was not around like with my exes, but I still would not of minded developing a relationship with him except it wasn't really possible with the long distance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I definitely can relate. I was seeing this guy for a few years off and on. We were not committed but we were seeing each other intimately. Recently I stopped hearing from him so I text him to see how he was doing. He responded quickly as usual. I asked him about his relationship status he didn't answer. We have mutual friends, so I started hearing he had a girlfriend. I just talked to him, he said nothing. Recently he came to our mutual friends party and had the new girlfriend with him. He sat across from me snuggling with her. now that hurt. To top it off, the new girlfriend is a cousin of the mutual friend. Why couldn't he just tell me when I asked instead of putting it in my face like that. I definitely have feelings for him, and can't believe after all this time he feels nothing for me. At least this guy let you know he was seeing someone instead of finding out the way I did. All I can do now is accept it and move on.

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    • I understand.. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing, its definitely rough.

      We don't live in the same town so if he hadn't of told me i never would've known. i guess he must care about me a little to at least give me closure... it still hurts that its over and we'll probably never be together again. I guess all I can do is move on and open my heart to someone else when the time calls for it.

    • Yes that's all you can do. He liked and respected you enough to be honest. It may have just been bad timing for you guys you never know what the future holds but all you can do now is try to move on. Unlike my situation me and this guy have the same circle of friends so I will see him, and her now, don't quite know how I am going to handle it, but I have to figure it out. Seeing him with someone else is not easy being that we are not committed he is free to see whomever, but I don't want it in my face. They recently just took a trip to puerto vallarta, yes even more hurt. I have to try my best to move and and find someone who only wants me and share those things with me, because he didn't. Its going to take some time to get over it, but I have to move on move forward because he seems to be building something with her. just give it some time is all we can do and try to move on.

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What Guys Said 1

  • What's your question?

    If there's none, well it's an unfortunate situation but that's how life is sometimes. People move on, especially from casual dating. I'm sure with time you won't feel as hurt.

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    • Well just want a bit of advice I guess... Just having a hard time thinking straight really.

What Girls Said 1

  • Would you rather he not tell you?

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    • No I'm glad he told me. It of course upsets me too though.

    • well maybe because He didn't want to start a relationship with you because of the long distance thing?

    • I'm sure that has something to do with it... I can't see why else he would care for another girl like that and not me. He acted like he wanted to be with me when he was around, but the distance is probably just too much.

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