Does this mean my ex-boyfriend doesn't want to be friends?

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up just a little over a month ago. It was the most serious and intimate relationship either of us have ever had. He was gone with his camp all summer and wanted to "call it a break" while he was gone because he felt that would be the least stressful for the both of us; he stressed how much he wanted to pick things right back up when he returned. For whatever reason, I went along with it. We hardly maintained contact during this time, and when he came back he admitted to hooking up with a girl several times during his trip. However, he assured me it was entirely casual and that he wanted nothing more than to be invested with me just as we were before summer. For two weeks we tried it out, but something wasn't right. We frequently argued. I was emotionally scarred with regards to our relationship because of the summer. He gave me care and attention, but it was never the same intensity as before summer. He told me his feelings weren't as strong as before, but he was "hoping they would get there." After two weeks, we broke it off. He stressed how important to him it was to be able to talk to me and maintain a friendship, cause I'm the "coolest girl" he knows. That soon shifted, and he began telling me that he needs space before being friendly. Then THAT changed as well, and he told me he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted friendship. 3 weeks into our breakup, and after not speaking to me at all, he approached me on our class retreat (we go to the same high school) and asked me how i've been doing. We talked one-on-one and it seemed like he genuinely wanted to hear from me. He admitted to liking me less and less bc he accepted we just didn't work out. He said he's been reevaluating and focusing more on friends. He told me we can talk because we have stuff in common. However, at school we share 3 classes so we're forced to see each other, and he makes no effort to speak to me. It's like im a stranger in the room. I'm confused what he wants?
Also, I'm not looking for the "move on and ignore it" type of advice. I see him 6 times a week every week at school, so it's not like I can avoid this entirely. I'm doing my best to move on, but I also want to understand what I deal with every day.


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What Guys Said 1

  • My dear young lady ignorance is bliss. Beauty fades and dumb is forever. I tried to respond to your question about the math equation I did not understand the / this is why I asked what particular subject you were studying that this equation came from. It looks like beauty fades and dumb is forever is what the equation equals two. Beauty is in the eye of the behder. Are you a closet narcissistic person. Had you heard of the book trapped in the Mirror. It's about an individual who keeps looking at his reflection in the pond by the name of Narcissis. Try reading the book you may learn something about yourself. Like I said ignorance is bliss sometimes what you see is not what other people are looking at. Have a lovely day!

    • Im confused, is your idea of help calling me a narcisstic individual? Im not sure where that notion stems from in this particular situation, nor can I see where it relates to my confusion towards achieving friendliness with my ex-boyfriend?

What Girls Said 1

  • You are Not only a 'stranger in the room' now but Also A----Stranger in the nite, a stranger in his life. He has lost that lovin' feeling and he has Tried to get This back, but with little success, 'hoping they would get there,' nothing you both have Done or even Attempted to do has worked. Now, it's sad to say, 'he admitted to liking me less bc he accepted we didn't work out.'
    He may still just find you the 'Coolest girl he knows,' That may have 'Not changed,' but he is Now at this domino affect Drama Queen level in your so-called 'friendship' where he Wants things between the both of you to be Casual And-------Cool. Nothing more, nothing less.
    I can read what he wants, it's written all over the wall, and I would imagine with having to be in the same spot, the same 'School,' day in and day out, it Won't be easy to 'Move on' or even 'Ignore' this situation. However, the harder you make this for you and for him, the More he is going to run, put you Then Completely on his Pay no mind list, and it will get to the point where there Really Will be Nothing left to say between you.
    Just let things go for now. You need to think of yourself and begin your own beguine with licking your war wounds. I know it won't be easy, I won't tell you that it 'Won't, but you have to try and get through this the best way you can, even if your Only 'call it a break' Comes Next summer when school lets out.
    Don't let this end up to be War of the Roses. He has moved on, is giving you helpful hints that You need to as well, but he wants things with you Both to be more simple from now on.
    It doesn't take a rocket scientist so don't be 'confused.' This is Now what you have to 'deal with every day' from this day forward and there's just no fight left to do Anything more but to call a truce and accept it.
    Good luck. xx


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