SEX? What should I do?

Ok... that got your attention... Lol. My ex finished with me due to trust issues. So the past 6 weeks of us finishing, he calls occasionally. Usually in the evening to check if I'm with anyone else. This is hard because I want to get back with him but he just calls to check what I'm doing and if I don't answer my phone, he will send nasty texts saying that he thinks I'm with someone and then wants nothing to do with me. How can I get round not answering my phone without making him get mad? I don't know what he wants from me because when I say I wanna see him he changes the subject yet I can't move on. My objective is to make him miss me by not always answering my phone but for him to not think the worst? I thought about answering but making an excuse to finish the call sooner?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This guy is trying to control you while being free himself. GET HIM OUT of your life. Ever heard the expression "can't have your cake and eat it too"? He is insecure and immature and takes it out on you; so he breaks up with you, doesn't want to talk about getting back together, but thinks he has the right to know what you're doing and who you are with? I know it's hard to give up when you already set your mind before that you guys would always be together, but this type of problem is what usually leads to men abusing women. They keep thinking you're up to something and their insecurities get worse with time; he'll be checking your phone and calling every second you're apart, won't want you to go anywhere and anytime you don't answer or he doesn't get you he'll freak out (a lot like he does now) except you'll be living with him and he might lash out.

    Maybe him breaking up with you is a good thing for you now so you can see he is not the type of man you need, he has serious issues so maybe you should go ahead and try moving on. Don't answer him at all anymore. Chances are, he'll show up somewhere you are supposed to be, but tell him he made his choice and you are not gonna be his puppy on a string any more; his insecurity should not be your problem. Maybe recommend that he get a counselor too. If he gets aggressive/stalkerish get a restraining order. Do what you must but be strong ok. Good luck!

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    • He has hit me before.

    • I am sorry to hear that... Be strong honey, you need to do this for you. Doesn't make sense you spend your life trying to convince this man you love him alone when he's hellbent on seeing otherwise. I know it's hard but it will be worth it ok. And get that restraining order as soon as he starts his crap.

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What Guys Said 3

  • He's either: Tricking you into thinking he cares about you OR bothering you because he doesn't care about anything else but you.

    You're a fool to play hard-to-get games. From what you say, this guy genuinely gives a shit about you and for you to play with his feelings like this is heartless and morally wrong. If you actually care about getting back together with him you tell him what you have done and how you feel about him.

    Good luck.

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    • But I've tried! I've apologised, I've begged, pleaded, cried. Sent him beautiful heart felt messages. He has a car and if I say I wanna see him, he tells me to travel to him. He doesn't want to come to mine because he thinks other men have been in my room since we split up which isn't the case! I don't drive and it takes over an hour to get to his. I went to his last time and he should drive to see me!

    • You didn't say you tried... -.-

      Now he just sounds like an asshole. If he keeps this up he's worthless as a human-being. He needs to accept the idea that you've changed your ways or that you might not have.

      This pathetic "I'm not coming to your place" behaviour is just unfair. He doesn't seem to be giving you a chance with this behaviour. If he isn't giving you a chance, you shouldn't give him one. Tell him to be a man by coming to you and talking or else he should fuck off and not speak to you in such a rude way.

    • As a "human-being" can be**

  • Why are you so eager, to get back with an insecure jealous asshole?

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    • I guess u want what u can't have. I know what you're saying. I'm just not understanding his behaviour. What do u think he is doing?

    • He doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else having you

  • You think giving him sex will make him feel better?

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    • No I don't. I miss the intimacy. I know sex won't solve anything. Our problems are way deeper and probably unrectifiable. I think I just need to block his number and be done with it. Just trying to understand his behaviour before I do it. x

What Girls Said 2

  • This dude is just using you. I think he knows how you truly feel about him he's just doing these things so he can stay on your mind. He doesn't want you to move on. He's low key mentally abusing you. By sending those nasty text, changing subjects when you wanna see him, and the calling all the time. That's just my input on it...

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  • Ohh dear you need to get this bloody control freak out your life. Why you want him back i do not know? If someone is calling you to accuse you of being with someone else when you dont answer imagine what your life is going to be like if you do get back together... constantly checking up on you, constantly argueing and you having to defend yourself and even when you do he isn't going to believe you and you will end up feeling trapped like you cannot win and he will have all power over you, cut all contact now before he turns you into an emptyshell.

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