Is he being selfish?

So my BF and I haven't been in a good place so I recently tried to break up with him. He told me that he didn't want to be completely done but at least just go on a break because he's going through a lot. He said he needs time to get himself together & figure out what he wants.
I do understand that he's going through a lot but is he being selfish for telling me not to be done with him, only to just give him time to decide what he wants? Im confused.. why would someone do this?
Updates:
What I want to know is why he would say for me not to be done but wants me to wait for him to decide what he wants. So I feel like he wants to be the one to end the relationship on his time.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is a pretty handy way for him to test the waters and see if he can find another girl, and if he can't then he can come back to you and say "I feel better, I'll try to be better". That way he doesn't have to worry about you finding another guy while he is out looking. Or, as you suspect, a way to set it up so that he can be the one to pull the trigger.

    Yes, it is selfish. If you are at the point where you need to end the relationship, end it. Relationships very rarely reach the point where BOTH parties want to end it equal amounts. It'll always be a case where one person wants it to continue more than the other.

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    • Wow, thats sad. I was the one at first who wanted ti continue more but then he wasn't putting any effort so I gave up. I told him that I was done and gonna move on. But of course, I love him and I allowed him to talk me into just taking a break until he gets himself together and figure out what he wants.. I said yes but in reality, im done. Im already telling myself it's over and conditioning myself to move on. Only because I know it's for the best.

    • Yeah, the 'wait for me' is a bit of a bullshit thing, usually. It's a very lopsided arrangement in general.

      Moving on would be for the best.

Most Helpful Girl

  • he's not being selfish. he is assuming you still care about him and want to be with him.

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    • I understand that part but why would he say just be on a break until he figure out what he wants? I kinda feel like he doesn't want me to be the person to say it's over. Or am I just over thinking things?

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What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe you both need a break from each other. Sometimes spending time apart helps you realize how much you miss that person when there's distance and separation involved.

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