I messed up big time... advice please? Someone to talk to? :,(?

Well I screwed up this time. My ex and I have been together for a couple years til two days ago. It was a weird situation because we were together but not really because we never became official again but we acted as such. Well he ended what we had going on... but I can't wrap my mind around it. just a few days ago he called me over to talk and said we needed to stop because he wasn't ready tht he liked me and wanted to be with me but wasmt ready that he needed to get himself together...

The next day after it was all said and dne he called me to go eat and I agreed. When I got there he acted as if nothing happened as if we were together or semi together he was grabbing my ass he was standing close to me as if to have been claiming me and kissed me on the lips before we left

I called later that day amd asked what was that about he said well like you said we should just stay the same and that he couldn't help it so we agreed to stay the same but that id give him his space often.

The next day I txts saying if he was in love with me he didn't repsond so 2 hrs later I called he didn't answer like usual another 2 hrs and I called still nothing the next day he didn't respond to my text either so I called he picked up this time I asked if he was dne he said "I guess" he said he didn't know how to respond to my text because "if you're in love with someone you're going to be there 24/7 & I already told u I didn't want that" i said so ur not in love anymre? He said "idk" I then told him how fucked up he was that in love had nothing to do with being there I then told him I was close to leaving him for good if he wanted that he said "no but I guess its best" I tld him to delete my # forget about us.

But herea where I messed up. I was sooo angry at him for changing up on me the way
That he did within just 2 days!
So I told him he was a piece of shit that I hated him & never wanted to see him again that he was a piece of shit like his father tht he's gonna be like him because all he does is play women get wasted n spend money on cars
Tht he was pathetic that I wished id never met him that he was the worst thing thats ever happened to me... I told him I didn't love him anymore that I hated him... over & over...


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're both acting like kids, acting like your definition of love is the only one that matters, and neither one of you is paying attention to what the other person is actually saying.

    Example ;
    "if you're in love with someone you're going to be there 24/7 & I already told u I didn't want that"
    He tells you he wants periodic space and you agree to give it to him. He thinks everything is fine.
    Then you text him and ask "do you love me?"
    PANIC mode for him. What the fuck is this? Because in HIS mind, loving someone means being there for them 24/7, and there's NO space for the guy when he wants it. This is a complete reversal from everything he thought you had both agreed to. And he doesn't call you, to clarify. He freezes and panics.

    By his definition the answer is No. But he feels like you're acting like a dick by even asking the question. Didn't you guys have an agreement? An understanding? And now you're just ignoring it with this thunderous question?

    And YOU... don't get me started on the passive aggressive bullshit way you're handling this.

    You both have a lot of growing up to do. And you should both stay the hell away from each other until you stop being such toxic children.

    • I KNOW that i was wrong and after I had time to calm down it was then that I realized what I had dne what I had said to him... but when I was saying all of it I was soo hurt and angry for him changing all of a sudden and not caring that I completely blanked out and said everything that I could to try n make him feel the hurt that I was at the time... I've never dne this to him before the whole 2 1/2 years its not like me to do that but because he was rejecting me I didn't know how to handle it so I bashed him & purposely beat him up with my words... do you think he can ever forgive me?

    • I asked if he was in love with me not if he loved me... I know he does he said so that night but being in love and loving someone is two different things and theyre both major differences...

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is classic "wants his cake and to eat it, too," just wants you when he wants you and to live the single life on the side. It's like the perfect arrangement and you're putty in his hands. He gives you a crumb here and there, and you go running his way, settling for that.

    • By the way, you didn't mess anything up. You messed up NOTHING.

    • I know I've taken this into consideration as well andi bought that to his attention as well his response would always be "I dont have time... I'm not ready... or your not the only one putting effort in this" what kept me there is that I saw he loved me and care about me a lot but only in moments... in pieces... I was still wrong though because thst was personal information that honestly bothered him and affected him... that he shared in confidence with me...

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Wow you really screwed up on this one didn't you? There's nothing you can do but suffer the consequences of your actions.

    • But what about HIM!!! he's the one who told me we were fine to stay the same and then suddenly oh well I dont kmow if I am in love with you anymore and yeah I guess it is best if you left my life for good... how can he say all of that after everything? As if he didn't need me in his life at all?

    • It doesn't matter about him at this point. You kept on insulting him and calling him names. Even if he wasn't truly done then, he probably is now. You should have just kept cool and walked away. Let it be HIS problem. But by doing what you did, now you're the one feeling guilty.

    • I know ur right but I honestly had no control over myself at that moment... you think he could ever make some sort of comeback from this whole thing... forgive me... you think with time mybe that would be possible... I knoe I messed up I told him I wa s sorry... over and over

  • Well there's nothing really to say. You "hate" him, so it's over.

    • I only said it because inwas angry at him for not even being phased by how upset I was. How he seemed to not even care how he said he didn't know if he was in love... but how after just last week last month last year we were fine and happy and so romantice with each other...

    • You were dumb for saying things you didn't mean. But it's over, so it's time to start healing and moving on.

  • kiss it all goodbye with him. the worst possible thing a woman could say to a man is he's like his father. you have violated him and you have no choice but to leave and hurt him no longer.


What Girls Said 2

  • ohh, just try to stay away, he actually meant nothing to u sweety.
    he is really sane type of lol, betcha you dont go along.

  • give it 30 days of no contact

    • You really think that will wrk? I feel like I betrayed his trust by throwing all of his personal info at him to intentionally hurt him... how could he ever forgive me?

    • Show All
    • if you puh it he will run away. drop the subject entirely and wear him like a loose garment. don't even call as much

    • I know what u said but I need am explanation from him so he agrees to meet me tonight and discuss it what should I do and what shouldn't I do?

Recommended myTakes