Long distance girlfriend cheated with ex?

I met a girl from Romania 8 months ago. From the night we met we said we loved each other. In the past 8 months we have talked everyday for many hours a day. We called each other soul mates and things like that. We talked about marriage and our future together and even had started making plans to move in together. She had broken up with her previous boyfriend about 8 months before she met me. At the beginning of our relationship she had pictures of them hanging in their cabinet, but a few months into our relationship she burned them. I visited her in June for 2 weeks, it was the best time of my life. About 2 weeks ago she met her ex. He said all these things about he wants to talk and just make things civil between them. She was honest with me and I thought it was a good idea because she had a lot of hatred when she would talk about him. She always said how stupid he was when the past would come up in conversation, and how much happier she is with me. About a week ago she went to a party with some of her friends. She came home and called me on Skype and she was crying and very drunk. She lied and said she met him but he had been rude and thats why she was crying. I thought it a bit strange but I believed her. She told me today she had sex with him. She begged me to forgive her saying she was very drunk and it was a mistake and she wants to be with me. She said she did it to spite him (which made no f*cking sense to me). I feel like my heart is bleeding. I love her, but I told her I can't be with someone I can't trust. She asked to keep in touch so I said we could over email. Then her parents (who really liked me) called and said how sorry they are and to give her a second chance. I have had many problems in the past few years before I met her, with drugs and depression. I told them it would poison me and make me hate myself to stay with her because I am so shocked and hurt so deeply. Am I doing the right thing? I really loved her but god...

Updates:
I feel so bad for her though, she was crying and saying many things. But Im so shocked by all of it. I thought she loved me and could never betray me like this. . I don't know what I'm doing...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • She probably does like you, but you could only satisfy the mental side and not the physical side. Unfortunately, her will and self control is not strong enough to handle a long distance relationship. It's up to you how you want things to happen.
    One of my girlfriend moved to New Orleans while we were together and after almost a year after she left she found herself emotionally liking 2 people...

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    • Id noticed that the last few months she became less and less physical. We would sometimes masterbate together and things like that but it had become almost nonexistent.

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    • @timihaze I hate to sound like an asshole but you got hit in the face with reality. You made a mistake getting involved in a long distance relationship. Now, the key is to learn from it and don't do it again.

    • yeah i guess so

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think you should give her another chance just bc she was drunk.. and the fact that she called you while she was drunk shows me that she felt really bad about it and regretted it.. it depends though.. if you feel like what you had was something really strong and beautiful and you dont want to lose it then give it another try but put your rules.. if you feel like you will never be able to forget her or trust her again then you should try and forget her and move on:)

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    • I understand what you're saying but honestly if she felt the way I did she wouldn't even have been in that situation. And I don't like it when people use alcohol as an excuse. We did have a great connection but I guess she surprisingly couldn't resist physical urges. I am hurt too much. I will forget her and move on.

    • ok if you feel that thats the right thing to do go for it.. but i believe that you are right that even if you are drunk you still have to try and resist your physical urges but it still makes you lose control of your senses and do stupid things! but what if you were on her position? i mean if you were drunk and something like that happened and you regretted it? also maybe bc of that he was her ex a person she used to be with it was more difficult for her to resist someone she used to like.. i mean it isn't the same like seing a stranger while you are drunk..:)

What Guys Said 2

  • That's what happens with long distance relationships - they generally are entered into by people who have no idea how important the physical aspect is, and that's why someone invariably cheats.

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  • Rule #1: Long Distance relationships don't work. Now you know why. Move on.

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