My ex broke up with me TWICE?

Hi! so basically... I met my boyfriend (ex) in high school. We moved in together 9 months later for college. We lived together for 3 years, until he had to move 2 hours away his senior year (to a different school). Our relationship was great, we were in love, etc. And when he moved away last year, I was so sad. But we promised we would make it work. 7 months later... he breaks up with me because he likes this girl (lets call her R) who is in his class. So he breaks up with me for R. I was devastated, heartbroken, depressed, the whole 9 yards. But I keep my footing, graduate college, land a job, all that fun stuff. The day before I start my job... my ex sends me a friend request on Facebook. I accept it the next day and ask him what he wanted. He said he wanted to see how I was doing. We talked for hours, catching up. We made plans to meet up and grab lunch. We ended up spending more time together. A month after we started talking, he tells me that he loves me, that he made the biggest mistake when he broke up with me, etc. We get back together. He swore to me he was over R. Everything is great. We are happy, laughing, we see each other once a week. Then out of the blue, he breaks up with me over the phone. I'm hurt, devastated. He tells me the whole "its not you, its me", "you are great for me, I just don't want a relationship, "I want to be friends". I see him a week later. He is drunk and tells me he saw R. He starts to have a panic attack about her in front of me. I have never been so hurt or humiliated. That was a week and a half ago but I still talk to him and he still sends me snapchats and it is making me so depressed, angry, and sad. I don't know what to do. Why would he do this to me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Why would he do this to you? Because he is concerned about his own immediate gratification and doesn't care about your feelings or emotions at all. He takes priority in his mind and you are clearly slotting into the 'good times' category. If he has done this to you twice, you are permanently in there, unfortunately. That is not a category you emerge from to become a life-long partner.

    Once a couple has broken up once, it will virtually NEVER work out if they get back together. You hear of one in a million cases where it does, but those have extraordinary circumstances. He has done this to you twice now, that 'one in a million' chance is pretty clearly a zero in a million chance. You are not the exception, you are the rule. That's obvious.

    Giving him another chance was not really your fault, it seems like it just snuck up on you. But now that he has hurt you again you need to learn from that and realize that this will just become a pattern if you let it. You need to cut all contact, block him from everything, and move on. Don't accept a request a couple of months from now, don't accept an apology a couple of years from now. No contact. Move forward. Since it has worked once, he will always try. He will drop those little testers months later, years later. Just fishing to see if you are in a vulnerable state.

    You have a right to be angry, what he did deserves your anger. Stop talking to him. Stop the snapchats. Stop it all. He will continue to hurt you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Because you keep taking him back. Rule #1: Don't deal with exs.

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  • Don't make an ex your boyfriend again.

    It's so simple, he is not prepared to have a healthy relationship so I suggest you forget about this guy or just make him a "friend".

    He is not your time

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's a fairweather friend. He wants to be with you when it's convenient. Then when he's away, he can't keep it in his pants obviously. His flimsyness in decision making shows he's not worth it, at least not right now. He has a lot of growing up to do, you can do better. I would cut all contact with him so you can move on.

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