I wasn't "exciting" enough?

Well my ex and I dated about 4 months. we kind of grew apart and agreed it "wouldn't work out"

however, I still have deep feelings for him. I contacted him and asked him just straight up what happened to make him get distant, and he told me that he wanted more excitement in a relationship.
im confused because I thought he was really happy until the last month when he started getting distant (around when school started and he seemed troubled all the time)

I want him back because I feel as if it was a mistake, but how can I go about attracting him again? he acts rather friendly and approachable, but I don't know how to go about it. how can I be more exciting? not just for him, but to show him what he's been missing and perhaps just get a little personality makeover. i feel like the breakup was at a bad time and more of a resultant of stress and troubles that we were both going through separately.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think if a guy says that, almost 100% he says it instead of saying has fallen out of being attracted to you. That is not to say he has any good reason to stop being attracted to you. Younger guys can do that, when they start to ask themselves if a girlfriend is the right one who is the possible love of their life. The easy answer is to tell themselves that if they have to ask, then she isn't. Instead they should know that bringing a relationship to a deeper level of respect and care about someone takes some work. Most guys won't figure that out until, at least 33. Some never do.

    The very best thing to do, in my opinion. is to tell him, "you are losing me and in 5 years, you will remember that this is time I slipped through your fingers." Then add, if you want some more excitment, you are game to try some new ideas, but he needs to respect you and treat you well if he wants to try spending time together. None of this whinning about lost love. Either man up and try something new, or you are gone and he can think about that over the next 10 years.

    I guarantee you will get his attention.

    • Thank you for your response. I knew he was losing attraction to me, but I find it so stupid because I hadn't "settled" or gotten boring. I thought everything was dandy and it seemed completely exciting to me, but he wouldn't wanna DO anything. just hope that things went his way. I broke up with him because of his lack of effort, but still, it hurts to have someone lose attraction to you because they thought you were boring. But that's his problem and his loss, huh?

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