Would you get married if you know your marriage might not last forever?

ME: If we get married someday, and found out that I can't get pregnant, would you leave me?

HIM: I won't leave you. But having a child is very important to me. I might get a second wife. (We're both Muslims, he's allowed to have more than one wife)

ME: But what if you were the one that couldn't get me pregnant?

HIM: Then I would let you go. It's not fair for you to not be able to have your own child.

ME: Would you consider adoption?

HIM: Never.

So we were talking about random stuff, then this comes up. We're actually planning to get married next year, but because of this stupid conversation, I don't feel up to it anymore. I love him so much, but what if I really can't get pregnant? I don't think I'm strong enough to see him get married to someone else. But I would be selfish if I don't let him get married since I can't give him what he really wants. But then I would rather not get married at all! I can never see myself sharing my husband to someone else!

I feel that if he truly loves me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together, why can't we just adopt a child? I would do that for him in a heartbeat. I would never get in another relationship just for the sake of having a baby! Because I believe that it is written. God will grant it if he wills.

If I ever gonna get married, I want it to last forever. I want us to work it out together, only the two of us NO MATTER WHAT happens! But he doesn't see it the same way as I do. The POSSIBILITY that he might get married to another person hurts me. Is it worth to break up this relationship because of this? Or am I over-thinking?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • nope. never.

    you make a promise to be with that person forever. go through good and bad times together. he has a very selfish point of view. if he would believe in marriage and the love for his wife, then he would not leave her alone in this situration but find a way.

    personally, what he said, would kind of worry me. he doesn't sound like a guy that will stick with you when times get hard

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What Guys Said 8

  • To be honest, I find these kinds of questions from religious people confusing. On one hand you are saying that if God wants you to have a baby, you will have a baby. But then on the other hand you are saying that if God wants you to NOT have a baby, and your relationship then puts you in a position you are uncomfortable with, that's suddenly not ok and now you want to avoid the situation completely? If you like the decision God makes for your life, then you will accept it. But if you don't like the decision God makes for your life, then you will not accept it and will back out of the marriage to avoid that decision.

    I find those kinds of arguments very confusing.

    As someone who takes responsibility for my own actions, instead of leaving them up to a deity, I can say that for me, personally, I would never get married knowing that it may not last. It is why it took me until my mid 30s to marry in the first place. I was only going to do it once, so I had to make sure it was with someone I could live with forever. It took a lot of years to make sure that was the case. However, if I offloaded the responsibility of my happiness to chance and called it the will of a creator, then I would have to be consistent in my belief and accept that flip of the coin, heads or tails. I couldn't tell myself I would only be ok with it if it landed on heads.

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  • If you are uncomfortable wit
    Th an issue, that is a red g
    Flag. Probably there are other issues you may disagree about as well,

    If you are thinking about scenarios where you would be unhappy, instead of ec
    Noting your happiness NOW, something hidden or unspoken is already going on that should make you hesitate!

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  • Never understood why so many people are not okay with adoption.

    What the hell is supposed to happen to all the kids that are unwanted? Put 'em in the meat grinder?

    Perfect world: gay marriage is legalized, nobody gives a shit about people's personal lives until it affects their own, the gays adopt all the unwanted kids and everybody gets love.

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  • The point of getting married is kind of to always be together so if you already knew you wouldn't be then there's no point.

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  • You should tell him that if he gets a second wife your out regardless of religions. Don't do things you don't want to! Or just tell him that if he considers getting a second wife again you're out.

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  • Marriage may last forever ( means till you die)', but there is no guarranty that love will be there tht long.

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  • Take your time and think it over.

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  • The divorce rate being what it is, most people have to accept that if they get married it may not last. That is just common sense.

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What Girls Said 1

  • What a dick. I would never marry that.. But I don't want to get married at all, it's the hell of a lot of money, to be bound to someone on paper. Very stupid.

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