My ex and I were together for 4 years. We broke up just over 2 months ago. We lived together for a year. I had to leave all my stuff there like my furniture etc... At first he blocked me so my stepdad organised with him to let me leave my stuff there for 2 or 3 months. Then I had to go and check up on my cat take food etc... and he was happy that i visited then unblocked me and we chatted a bit. But when I asked if my girl friend and I could visit he said no and blocked me again. So I blocked him on whatsapp 4 days later i got atext explaining that he was running a marathon that day which is why we couldn't visit. My ex and I have a mutual friend who I've been friends with for 10 years and we had a get together with 5 friends including this mutual friend. my girlfriend and her boyfriend and his friend and our mutual friend were there. We all took a photo together and I posted it as my whatsapp profile photo. my ex saw it. I then asked him if he could pls fix my bike as he had borrowed it to someone and they broke it. I told him that I need my bike and i would like to pick it up and that I will help him fix it. he got so upset that he sent me n message saying that I must get my stepdad to phone him so that they could organise to fetch my stuff and then he blocked me. I paniced and sent him a text saying that I still loved him and I don't want to pick my stuff up and that I do believe that we've both been working on ourselves to better ourselves. a few days later he unblocked me again. He then again had a whole explanation of why he won't be available that day including that he was doing charity work and that he was going to a farewell but that the bike had been fixed. I replied very shortly and said thanks and that I was sorry to hear that his friends are leaving. I didn't respond further. Then I found some work keys of his in my car and just let him know that I have them if he wants them. he replied immediately saying thanks and that he had been looking all over.
Most Helpful Girl
I'd say find a cheap storage unit and move your stuff in there. Or if you have a family member with a garage, ask to store it until you get back on your feet. As soon as you remove your belongings and take your car back, or assign him full responsibility of the cat, you will be able to see the situation more clearly. I left a lot of stuff at mine and my exes place and to be honest it made me feel good because I knew it was a reason to see him. To this day I wonder if there is anything I've left there that I could ask for. But whatever it is, it's replaceable. Your ex doesn't seem to know what he wants and it's time you remove your belongings and your car so you can stop being his option. He's treating you as an option honey. I know the pain and it sucks more than anything, but... it's time for you to decide what's best for your heart and your life. You do not need to stop having mutual friends. That's very dramatic and good friends are hard to come by. When you are with them though, don't ask about your ex and just be present around your friends. I lost friends because I'll Id do is ask about my ex (my friends work with him). Plus, if your friends aren't mentioning to him that you're asking about him, it will make him wonder if you've moved on and he may freak out. Move out your stuff and make him wonder. Show him that you are a strong independent woman who doesn't need him as a storage unit. As long as you keep seeing him, you will never heal.
Speaking from personal experience. It's very difficult and heartbreaking, I had to quit my job, move out of our home and move in with my dad in order to get away from my ex. But I wouldn't be as strong as I am Today had I stayed. No contact!0
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