Very confused about my ex?

My ex and I were together for 4 years. We broke up just over 2 months ago. We lived together for a year. I had to leave all my stuff there like my furniture etc... At first he blocked me so my stepdad organised with him to let me leave my stuff there for 2 or 3 months. Then I had to go and check up on my cat take food etc... and he was happy that i visited then unblocked me and we chatted a bit. But when I asked if my girl friend and I could visit he said no and blocked me again. So I blocked him on whatsapp 4 days later i got atext explaining that he was running a marathon that day which is why we couldn't visit. My ex and I have a mutual friend who I've been friends with for 10 years and we had a get together with 5 friends including this mutual friend. my girlfriend and her boyfriend and his friend and our mutual friend were there. We all took a photo together and I posted it as my whatsapp profile photo. my ex saw it. I then asked him if he could pls fix my bike as he had borrowed it to someone and they broke it. I told him that I need my bike and i would like to pick it up and that I will help him fix it. he got so upset that he sent me n message saying that I must get my stepdad to phone him so that they could organise to fetch my stuff and then he blocked me. I paniced and sent him a text saying that I still loved him and I don't want to pick my stuff up and that I do believe that we've both been working on ourselves to better ourselves. a few days later he unblocked me again. He then again had a whole explanation of why he won't be available that day including that he was doing charity work and that he was going to a farewell but that the bike had been fixed. I replied very shortly and said thanks and that I was sorry to hear that his friends are leaving. I didn't respond further. Then I found some work keys of his in my car and just let him know that I have them if he wants them. he replied immediately saying thanks and that he had been looking all over.
Updates:
over for the keys. I asked him if my cat still has enough food and he said that his mom had bought lots of cat food so I said I would transfer money for the food. he said I mustn't worry about it but I said I can't expect his mom to pay for my cats.
he replied and said I must pls not worry about it. He asked if I could give the keys to this mutual friend and I said no as it's a mission and out of my way. I said I can leave the keys close to his work as it's on the way that I have to travel.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Very easy to handle this. Get your stuff out of his place, and cut all contact with him. Do not deal with ex's. This long post is a perfect example why. It causes nothing but drama and confusion.

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    • thanks but unfortunately getting my stuff out is not a option at this point as I'm living with my parents and have nowhere to put the stuff and I can't afford to just leave it and buy newstuff when I move into my own place.

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    • I understand you can't get out of the situation right now. All the more reason NOT to try to sit there and figure it out. The situation alone is stressful enough. You're causing more stress by trying to figure everything out, when there is nothing to figure out.

    • Opinion Owner there is a specific reason why I'm trying to figure out why he is doing this.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Jeezo!!! You need to get your things and be gone he isn't interested in making up with you he is being spiteful and making it hard for you to get your things I would do what I had to do to be rid of him if not he going to mess you around and keep messing you around for as long as you allow him to. Get. yourself together and be done move on. Been there wore t-shirt in the end I gave up my mutual friends to be rid of a guy like that (and they were friends with me ten years before I introduced him to them) and it was best thing I ever done.

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    • Anonymous he isn't making it difficult for me to get my things.

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    • Andthis mutual friend is my best guy friend so I won't give up that friendship.

    • Well from what you said he is blocking you unblocking you speaking when he see's that he wants to give you his time. Its all about what suits him but what about what suits you? Its your step dad he was to deal with then he decides to spk to you and even asking if you can give them to your mutual friend knowing its out of your way he is seeing how far he can push you how much you will do for him. If he respected you he would have not even asked that he would have faced you and collect them. You must remember iam only going on what you have said I was not dissing the guy, that you defended so you obv still have a lot of emotional attachment to him. If it is i your heart and head that you want him back you need to make him miss you!!!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd say find a cheap storage unit and move your stuff in there. Or if you have a family member with a garage, ask to store it until you get back on your feet. As soon as you remove your belongings and take your car back, or assign him full responsibility of the cat, you will be able to see the situation more clearly. I left a lot of stuff at mine and my exes place and to be honest it made me feel good because I knew it was a reason to see him. To this day I wonder if there is anything I've left there that I could ask for. But whatever it is, it's replaceable. Your ex doesn't seem to know what he wants and it's time you remove your belongings and your car so you can stop being his option. He's treating you as an option honey. I know the pain and it sucks more than anything, but... it's time for you to decide what's best for your heart and your life. You do not need to stop having mutual friends. That's very dramatic and good friends are hard to come by. When you are with them though, don't ask about your ex and just be present around your friends. I lost friends because I'll Id do is ask about my ex (my friends work with him). Plus, if your friends aren't mentioning to him that you're asking about him, it will make him wonder if you've moved on and he may freak out. Move out your stuff and make him wonder. Show him that you are a strong independent woman who doesn't need him as a storage unit. As long as you keep seeing him, you will never heal.
    Speaking from personal experience. It's very difficult and heartbreaking, I had to quit my job, move out of our home and move in with my dad in order to get away from my ex. But I wouldn't be as strong as I am Today had I stayed. No contact!

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    • I meant cat, not car

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    • We have both worked quite hard on ourselves in the last two months which is confusing because he's never done that before. He also did much much more for me than any other guy that I know has done for their girlfriends. He put many manual hours into building me a horse riding arena. Put up horse paddocks all by himself and on top of that he spent a lot of money doing it all.

    • Well it sounds like you are okay with this situation and you want to keep it going. To each their own. I'm glad he's working on himself. Most men don't. Most just walk away and find a new girl to put up with their nonsense. Guess that's the easier route to take. Wish my ex had realized what he lost and would work on himself. If you're happy then that's all that matters. Good luck to you

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