How to break up with an asshole you're in love with?

I feel like he is selfish and rude and he talks down to me all the time but when I confront him about the way he is making me feel he manipulates my words and turns it against me making me feel like im the bad guy to the point where I cry because i feel like shit and now i feel like im not alowed to feel a way but I must trust my gut instinct and if my gut instinct tells me he is bad for me then i dont want to be with him. I also love him and i dont want to feel lonely I also dont him to shit talk me which im 99% sure he will to all mutual friends and co workers.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Obviously he's a narcissist with manipulative behaviors I know some people like that. The best thing to do is to leave them alone. There is no getting better for him and it's just holding you back from experiencing so much more. He's clearly miserable and wants someone else to be just as low as him and since you put up with it I'm saying you're an easy target. It's time to stop being so nice, because in war the nicest people fall the hardest and this right here seems like an unnecessary uphill battle. "When a person shows you who they are the first time, believe them" - Maya Angelou

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What Guys Said 3

  • Of course he's bad for you. Think about him treating your future children this way and you won't have much trouble.

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  • Psychological warfare. Get out while you still have some strength left. If he wins enough battles, he will win the war.

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  • You tie him to the bed and burn the house down.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's called being in a sick, twisted and unhealthy relationship. And let me tell you girl, those are the hardest to get away from because when it's bad it's BAD but when it's good, it's fucking great. Unfortunately most of the time, the bad weighs out the good. Like you said, he manipulates you into believing you're in the wrong because he is too much of a pussy to be a man and own up to his mistakes and that's never going to change. If you don't stand up for yourself as a woman and realize that he's tearing you apart little by little then it's only going to get worst until you're left with nothing and trust me it is the absolute worst fucking feeling when you hit that bottom. Don't let it get there, Ofcourse you love him but you cannot put yourself through that anymore. You need to realize that he has so much growing up to do and you have to protect yourself, don't lower your self worth because of someone who honestly isn't worthy of your love. Nobody can make you do anything but you're not alone and I hope you don't let him affect your happiness more than he already has. You come first, don't forget that.

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  • It's such a hard decision to make when you love someone, but you are right to trust your instincts. You're aware (and have stated) that he manipulates your words. You are aware that he is not accountable for his wrongs, it's always about what YOU "did wrong". That's not okay or healthy.
    You cannot stay with someone like that in fear that they will speak poorly of you. If he's going to be immature like that, it's his decision. All you can do is try your best to remove him from your life. Look for a new job if you have to, look for new friends.

    Your friends that are genuine and true are going to be there to support you and they won't listen to the things he says about you. There is more life outside of the relationship. I know it's hard to see sometimes when you're in it yourself. Do what is best for you, don't ever feel bad about wanting to be respected and to be given what you want/need/deserve in a relationship.

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  • Ugh I feel you I'm in the same boat and it's like you know what you should do but your hearts all like nooo it will get better. But fact is we racionalize their behavior we make excuses for it because we don't want to face the fact their toxic to us. I'm in an extremely toxic relationship and it sucks because as much as I want to follow my own adivice and break it off with him I don't want to get my heart smashed in the mean time so I hold on when I know there's nothing left to hold onto. But honestly be strong and break up with him for you so you can be free. I don't know if you live together because Will make it way harder but if you not if your scared to do it face to face take the cowards way out and do it through text then block him on everything avoid him and block him out of your life. As childish as I make that sound sometimes it's the only way out in a toxic relationship.

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