Guys, im sure u all have done it. can u shed some light what is your reason to texting an ex? like hey how you been? is that keeping a window open?

knowing she may still have feelings for you, and she tries to keep things "civil" by occasionally replying, but now that she isn't replying or showing interest very much, all of the sudden u want to text and say hi? why do you do it? to seek for validation or what?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys do that as a form of fishing. They drop a line from time to time, every couple months or so, just to see how you are doing. They hope to catch you in a weak moment. So if you are lonely, if you just broke up with a different guy, if you're having a terrible week. A situation where the 'comfort of the past' may be possible to exploit for a quick lay.

    It's not going to be the motivation for a 'nice guy', per se. It's usually the domain of players and people that don't really care about your actual emotions. Of course, those are the guys people usually need to be warned against anyway.

    But for a certain type of guy, they will just always drop that little investigation text, for years.

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    • Haha " investigation text" I love that !!! Haha so true. He text me since I didn't reply " too cool now"? Nd I said " I wasn't cool before" nd he said nope lol I didbt reply obv Childs game.

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    • lol, you would be surprised. Some guys are pretty tenacious. It may scare him off for a little while, but be prepared for another one in a couple of weeks or months. Like a dog sniffing around a campfire, you have to keep chasing them off once they have the scent.

    • Haha God u are so true about it, his text are super random. Like every other week, is weird because when I don't REPLY at all I have his full attention, if I do reply he will vaguely do, or not at all. So I just stop,

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What Guys Said 7

  • Personally... i would've done it if the breakup was my fault. I'd feel a sense of responisbility for her, and would want to be sure she's doing OK afterwards.
    Like a "hey, i know i fucked up and you got no reason to trust me, but even if you care or not, i still feel responsible for what i did. And the least i want to do is hearing if you're ok".

    Get what i mean? I wouldn't dream about being accepted back, i just would want her to be OK

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    • so like guilt text, well I think this is the nice guy in you that would actually CARE. on the other hand this guy was in all sense of the word AN ARROGANT BASTARD, that so stubborn we had to call it quits, he wanted friendship for whatever reason I couldn't because I still loved him, I have moved on now so his text don't affect me as much just wondering from an "Asshole's" perspective" what would their reason be to do this lol u know?

    • I wouldn't say "guilt text", more like "responsibility text". Because i aknowledge the fact i'm responsible for my actions.

      But if he's that kind of dude... well, some of them are REALLY slow when it comes to getting things, so could be he actually believes you might change opinion. Hence why he thinks he can do it to keep a window open.
      From an assshole's perspective it can be summed up with "i want", and then he decides to try get her, without care of wether it's possible or not.

  • Guys find it a lot harder to move on from relationships than girls do. there's almost always some feelings leftover after a break up, so yeah, i guess it kinda is keeping a window open in some ways.

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    • there is no way he would want us back, he is already in dating sites out and about, I am just not sure why would he want to talk to me

    • its not even in the sense that he wants to get back with you. like something similar to what @Blue2 said, girls are awful at giving closure. We still need to socialize too but it doesn't mean we're not still longing for a certain person

  • I was that asshole for a long time. Then I met a woman. Married her. Had children with her. And I grew up. I use to do it as an easy way to get laid. I have a silver tongue, I have a country boys charm, and I am very persuasive. But I had to grow up and learn how to not be a misogynistic asshole that my dad taught me to be. So yes, from your description below, I feel like he's either trying to toy your emotions and spite you or hurt you for hurting him, or he's trying to get some. Tell him to fuck off and block him.

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    • Is always good to hear it from the lions mouth. He knows sex is a DEF a no and he's the type to be spiteful.

  • I texted my ex because i wanted a reason for why she broke up with me and she never gave me a good reason for it so i was mad at her for not giving me some sort of reason. when a girl breaks up with me i want to have some sort of "feedback" so i won't do it again in the future.

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  • I have never done that. I would honestly do it just because I always want to have a positive relationship with a person no matter how bad they have hurt me or how bad the previous relationship was. That would be my only reason.

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  • i to be nice to my exes and yes i do occasionally text them if im bored its no big deal i would not worry about it

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  • I always try and stay friends with my exs and non of my exs hate me

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