Someone help me decide what's the next move please.. need help?

My ex bf and I have been broken up for at least 3mths due to his having trust issues with me based on his assumptions. Since he has always been back and forth (hugged, kissed me etc). Recently I asked him again about us and he said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. So than I said fine I'm going to just walk away he tells me "did I say that's what I want you to do" I'm like well "no" he said "ok than" and seem frustrated. He could tell I was hurt he gave me a hug and tried to give me a kiss on my lips i than moved to where he kissed my cheek instead. So he tried again and gave me a peck on my lips.. What do I do next? Why does he say that what's going on? Someone please help what's going on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He wants you to patiently wait for him to overcome his trust issues or, and for him to decide he is ready to reconcile with you.

    Until he does decide, he wants to spend time with you and show you affection at his convenience.

    If that's a problem for you, I suggest you move on.

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    • So if you were in his position do you think you would want a girl to wait for you to prove to you something what? Or me I love him very much and want to stay but apart of me feels like I'm an option at the same time I know in his mind he feels I really hurt him but to me that was 3mths ago can't he move on already.. people make mistakes.. now I'm like is he using that he is hurt as an excuse? That's hat I dnt know. I work with him and that's what makes it harder because he chooses to eat lunch with me still so now I don't know to stick around or not even eat lunch with him anymore

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    • Well it's been 3mths so apart of me is like he should already be over it, but guess it's going to take longer than that. How do you regain someone's trust.. i dnt want to seem pushy nor like i didn't do enough..

    • Simply ask him, "what do you need me to do to regain your trust".

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What Guys Said 2

  • What's the next move? You already broke up with him, you're already moving on. Never deal with ex's.

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    • Problem is I love him very much.. he felt in cheated on him which I never did but his assumptions and insecurities got the best of him.. and it seems like he cares but somethings stopping him.

    • Yeah, something is stopping HIM. HE left YOU. You did nothing wrong. He did. So you need to move on because if you bring him back the same thing will happen.

    • I hear what your saying.. i guess what makes it harder is the fact that he seems to show his feelings at times but than pulls back

  • If you did hang out with this other guy after you and your now ex had an "argument" then I can kinda understand where he is coming from. It's obvious that over time he has lost all trust for you and he is putting up his guard to keep himself from getting hurt any worse. As much as he wants to love you and let you in everything in his gut is telling him to pull back. Most will tell you that if you truly love him then you'll wait for him... how long? Well that's all dependent on you.

    However, for your own sake I recommend pulling back hard. Not saying to ignore him but put it on the line with him--tell him you can't and won't go on the way things are now. I'm not someone who believes that "if it's meant to be it will happen" BUT if he does love you and you've put yourself out there then he will come to you.

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    • Your so right now I have to do my best to be strong and pull back. I've tried showing him so much how much I care and that's not really making him change his decision. Today tho I wanted to give him a hug and felt I couldn't even do that. I dnt like i have to think about everything now I'm thinking i shldve just done that. Yesterday he randomly msgd me have a goodnight so that was nice to know he was thinking of me.. at least that's how I interpreted it as.

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