GF of 2 years left me for contradicting reasons. PLEASE HELP?

My gf of 2 years decided to break up with me originally because she lost the spark for me and didn't like me for my flaws. After that I tried really hard to change my flaws, which are not even bad flaws (overworrying, family issues, and maybe a little bit too much dependency). I made a bunch of changes in my life and my gf was happy and said that I am a perfect and wonderful guy, but a week later she started going cold on me again. I asked her what is going on and she said that I am a wonderful guy and there is nothing wrong with me and it is "her fault", and that she needs to break up to find herself and be single and free. She then said I did nothing wrong at all but she has "realizations" and that maybe we will get back together in the future but for right now she needs to be herself. I don't understand. A month before wanted to break up with me she was saying I am the best boyfriend ever and I am a genuine guy but then all of a sudden she lost interest? I then found out at her new job she was secretly seeing this new guy behind my back and after she broke up with me she went into a rebound with him. I don't understand... Did I do anything wrong? I feel like my flaws were not an issue but its that she maybe wants to test the grass on the other side and she was playing me along as a backup. I don't know. or maybe she is the type of girl who needs someone in her life for security. She also said she just needs to miss me. I have went NC with her, but I am just confused about all of this. Maybe its because we are both young and in our early twenties? I don't know

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe she just needs time to see what else is out there. You're both very young. It doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong, so don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of people have these problems when they are having serious relationships at such young ages.

    If she was cheating on you then you could do much better anyways. Nobody deserves to have someone treat them in such a way. Don't be too upset about it, because she wasn't really good enough for you anyways, since she cheated!

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • true. The guy she is with now is a complete douchebag and I can't see it lasting. IF she ever comes back I don't know if I will take her back. She said she never cheated and instead left me for this guy, but I heard she was already flirting with him before hand, and in order to leave someone for somebody else you'd need to be seeing that new person before hand anyways

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    • Im actually 21 lol

    • I dont know where to change the age range

Most Helpful Guy

  • She was honest when she said she lost her attraction for you. You had gotten needy and stopped being the guy you first were that she fell in love with. You got comfortable and turned into a love dovey guy and nothing more. A good boyfriend, but not one that gets her going sexually anymore. This other guy got her hot and bothered and she missed that because you no longer provided it. That find herself crap is her lying in order to spare your feelings. Basically she is being cruel, by acting nice about it and not helping you figure out what actually happened.
    It's great that you're not contacting her.
    If it were me I'd just let her go, but I take it you love this woman. So goodluck in whatever you decide to do. But no matter what happens, you need to get the old you back along with your confidence

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • If she comes back to me I won't take her back haha :p

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    • thanks man. Like She was a girl from a tough past, and she leaves me because I am not the boyfriend she sees me anymore, so basically she is selfish and she got tired of me, so she wants to see if the grass is greener. Therefore she lost a good man

    • Bout sums it up. Sounds like she will be messaging you sometime in the near future to see "how you're doing" and likely apologetic

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • She is worthless garbage, don't go back and don't look back. I would tell you my story, since my ex did some messed up stuff like that which when I found out made me rethink the whole relationship, and establish that I was used and cheated on. Long story short, I'm moving on.

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    • Yeah that is what I am trying to do... it is just hard

    • There is no denying that, I went through months of emotional torture being so isolated during the summer. When ever I thought about everything I found out, it made me feel physically sick.

    • But there is a silver lining, afterwards you will be stronger as an individual. I am doing things now that 5 months ago were completely out of character (not in a bad way) I've poured all my emotion into trying to be the best that I can be successfully, and trying to fulfil my aspirations. In doing so, coupled with my conviction, I am going through a complete change of character, expanded my social circle, and things have started to happen that I could never have imagined.

      I am an extreme case though, but I have decided to change myself (not that I wasn't a lovely nice person already, but I had my floors that I try to fix.)

      At the end of the day though, I go to sleep knowing my slut of an ex will never ever find anyone on par with me, instead she will lead a mediocre life like the drone she is.

  • Really? She is bothered of you because of your flow? She didn't mentioned that to you from the beginning, and now she is complaining? That's utterly a bullshit, mate. You aren't supposed to changed yourself because she said so, delete THIS THOUGHT out of your head completely... including her. Go out have some fun, and date, and SHOW HER that girls accept you for who you are.

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    • You are absolutely right. You can't just be fine with your bf one day and then all of a sudden hate him for his flaws. Besides I treated her right, I valued her, respected her. And I was always there for her when she needed it.

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    • I just hope she at least will realize she made a mistake and regret it

    • She will realize once she knows you are dating, or with a girl. That will show her you moved on before she knew it.

  • let her be if she wants to be free XD

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