She left the country and then ended it. Still in contact but im really confused about everything, she's hot and cold?

I am English, been with a French girl for 3.5 years. We met in the alpes as i was already travelling around doing seasons, fell in love and i followed her to madeira so she could spend time with her dad, i spent my money that i saved for traveling to stay. She took a holiday back to France and returned to me crying saying she missed friends and family back home. We'd been planning our trip to australia together and i said if it was better for her to be at home while we save we will work around it, she agreed and promised me she wasn't leaving because of me but because of how things didn't work out here with work and family etc. After a week of her being home we had a stupid little fight which ended up with her breaking up with me at the end of the conversation, i felt hurt and alone and slightly betrayed, i tried everything to change her mind for the first month, asking her back and making her feel guilty for what she did to me (after all im stuck alone here with no family or friends to return to as i was adopted & have lost connections since travelling). I then calmed down and did NC for a couple of weeks which seemed to change her behaviour a bit where she was overly nice with kisses and smiley faces in messages. Now she has this routine of messaging me and then turning off her media devices for a few days which proves she's not really interested in my reply. I recently spoke to her and pulled her on this when we spoke on the phone saying she can't play games like this and i want to be mature about it, if she needs to talk then talk, she then said that she knew she shouldn't of called me. She was the one who dumped me and left me here all alone so she has no reason to be awkward about things, she agreed to return here to help get my stuff back but to actually get her to organise things is difficult as she will message and then dissappear for some time before replying something pointless again like "how are you" and then she's gone. Im just confused..


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What Girls Said 1

  • Girls can be over reacting and over thinking sometimes. I can't judge her because from what you describe i have no clue what is her personality. But that doesn't sounds like she's using you, maybe she expressed herself in the wrong way that made you misunderstood her.

    • she's a very strong minded person, sometimes good and sometimes bad, bad because its like trying to draw blood from a stone when trying to get her to express how she feels, she prefers to stick her head in the sand a lot of times instead of confronting things and im not just talking about me. Iv always tried to push her a little to stand up for herself rather than just be blind to certain situations and told her to be a bit tougher, the irony being that she is using that tactic on me now. We agreed to let things cool down and she said she knew she had problems opening up and she was going to work on that while things got cooler, they have and she is still a shut door. The only thing she still says is that she will do her part when she comes back in a month to help with the stuff left here and promised to be a bit more open with me, i guess ill have to wait and see...

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds sad. Sometimes women can really use a guy. Irony is they don't realise what they're themselves doing!

    • I just dont know what to make of the situation, when we first broke up she said it was really important for me to know that when i was happy she would be happy as she knows i wasn't myself where we were living, so i concentrated on myself got another job in the alpes for the winter season and im still planning to travel gave her the space which seemed to make her want to talk with me more but then she disappears again... confused. com

    • I think for many women, it's just beyond them. Once the honeymoon phase ends, they quite lose interest in a guy. Without even realising what they're doing... It's not you!

    • Thankyou, i appreciate it, i just have the burden to deal with her coming to return here for 5 days to help with the luggage, i will then have to fly back with her and stay in her house in france for a few days also and i dont really know the best approach to the situation as im still in pain 2 months on

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