The girl I love wants us to be friends or never talk to me again?

Sorry for the wall of text, if it's too much just move on!

Basically I met this Greek girl through a mutual internet friend (I'm Belgian myself) and we really got along, like I hadn't gotten along with anyone like that for a long time - not even my ex. Didn't take long before we were skyping each other for an average of 4 hours a day.

When we finally confessed that we had feelings for each other, I was the first to say that "Hey, I really wanna meet you but I think we shouldn't cause we really can't be together." She tells me that if we really wanna be together, we'll find a way. Now, knowing that I had previously been in a relationship of 3 years with an English girl, I guess I decided that I was gonna take a leap of faith. One month later we met up..

It was everything we'd both imagined and more, we were super in love and the sex was amazing (the best we'd both had so far). So after a week I go back home, which I have been for 2 weeks now, and the situation right now is.. troubling to say the least.

Basically she goes back and forth between being really sweet to me, telling me that she loves me, that she misses me, she wants my d*ck, how adorable I am when I practice my Greek (I'm learning Greek), .., and being really distant, like I'm some ex that she's just being polite/humane to but who's really the last person she wants to talk to.

Tonight we had a bit of a falling out, and basically she told me that "I don't wanna see you again cause saying goodbye is too painful" (though it's clear that she really does love me), which is devastating to me.. She also told me that unless we can be JUST friends (meaning I'm banned from expressing my feelings ever again), she doesn't want to be friends with me.

I honestly don't know what to do right now.. Everyone tells me I should just ditch her and move on with my life, but it's just not that simple.. If anyone has any SOLID advice feel free to comment/PM me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like she wants to keep you at arms length--have you in her life but just not romantically. On one hand, I can see that it is a defensive mechanism, but on the other, it is selfish. It sounds like you are all in, and honestly, it's not fair for her to toy with your emotions, and to flip flop between hot and cold. It's obvious that you love this girl, but at the same time, you've got to protect your heart a bit. First, I think you need to decide if being friends sits ok with you. Would you want her in your life, just as a friend? And would it be too painful to see her move on? If you decide to keep her as a friend though, be very firm about that. No flirting, or in-betweens. If she gets upset about that, then you have to tell her that it's not right to play both sides of the fence. Either she wants to be with you, or needs to let you go. Your heart is on the line, and you shouldn't sell yourself short.

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