my ex girlfriend and i were in love and dated for 15 months until she broke up with me in june. she called me 2 weeks later crying and after a long talk we decided to take things slow. then over the month of August she became increasingly distant and said we needed to talk again. so fearing another breakup i told her to go find happiness within herself, and left the door open for reconnecting in the future. since then our communication has been limited and i haven't seen her since the end of august. my close friend told me she's attracted to this 31-year old guy she works with, but i'm not sure to the extent of whats going on there. apparently its just an attraction , but at this point im just hoping for the best but expecting the worse for my own safety, you know? since the break up I've landed a new job, moved out of my parents house and got a place an hour away closer to my job and feel incredibly independent. before i left however i had mentioned to her that we should meet up for a drink and catch up, she agreed a while ago, but we never ended up setting an exact date.
which brings us up to this past week. she texted me out of the blue last Friday asking me the name of a song she used to like and then 5 seconds later figured it out. she then continued to text me "hope everything is running smooth with you," and "we never got to get that drink =/", then told me her class schedule for that day and that her phone couldnt recieve any imessages from her non-iphone. so she said to text her instead :) " i played it cool and told her id find out my schedule this week and get back to her when we could meet up.
i really do want this girl back and we had a really special connection. she's still up at our college and alumni weekend is next weekend, so i was thinking about using that as an excuse. if i do, any advice on what i should do and where we should go? also what if she makes a comment about being friends? do i say anything then?
Most Helpful Girl
Be careful. She could be a confused girl who doesn't know what she wants. I'd hate to see you get hurt and dumped again. I would only go to the alumni party if you have another friend you can meet up there. Don't search her out, act nonchalant as if you had no idea she'd be there. Play the cool guy. It's an awesome feeling when you like someone and they want you back. But you need to make sure her intentions are pure. And yes, make sure she has found her happiness like you had asked her to. 3 months is a short period of time to become happy but maybe she's better at it than most.
This 31 year old... Ever heard of "Don't shit where you eat"? Well, if she gets involved with a guy she works with, she will regret it. Take it from me. I had to leave my job because of a 32 year old I got involved with and it got ugly. It's not a consequence you think about in the beginning, but when it goes sour, someone usually had to leave. Otherwise you're endured with overwhelming awkwardness at your job. Not worth it.
Keep your guard up. If you make a mistake with her, you've learned your lesson. But if it goes wonderfully, I'm happy for you and you at least took the risk! You never know til you try, just play cool.0
Most Helpful Guy
She's bullshitting you dude. She broke up with you because of a guy- maybe even that 31 year old. That's verified intelligence from your friend. She was crying and torn during the break-up because she was scared of leaving you but in the end that's exactly what she did. She probably hooked up with some dude and got used so she came crying back to you two weeks later. Then you consoled her and took things slow... and she started seeing the same dude or someone else.
Now you two don't even talk and you've moved on. Stay moved on, bro. You don't want to be second fiddle in any relationship. Sounds like you've got a lot going for you man. Any chick would like to settle down with a seemingly responsible kid like you.
I understand you truly care about this girl but you have to look at facts. She dropped you for a bullshit reason. Don't look back. Keep moving forward.0