I'm 22 now and I was married for 3 years to my High School sweetheart. The first year was great. We had (what I thought I guess) a great sex life. It was like at least twice a week. Never heard complaints or anything about it and in the same sentence didn't initiate everytime. It was fairly 50/50. But after the first I guess year and a half things went bad... It started off with her wrecking my truck (which I was more worried about her) and in the same night sleeps with another guy. Well I found out a week later and went through the utter pain of it but Iv'e always been big hearted and believed in second chances. But to be honest after a while I just never could be who I was happily. Well 3 affairs later I'm broken and looking at divorce (my choice) and now we have a 6 month old son ( And yes I looked into a DNA test. I'm heartbroken but not stupid). He's my son and now I'm faced with all these problems and heartbreak and Honestly? I really don't know why. I went to work everyday and I did everything I could of possibly done to be a good husband. I told her often I loved her. I don't want this marriage anymore but I'm honestly asking for advice for future relationships as to what I did wrong and what I could do different. This sucks for me and whats more terrible is she's not fighting the divorce but it's obvious to me everytime I see her she doesn't want it. But you can only hurt somebody so many times right? Girls y'all would know better than me. What do y'all think?
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think she wants to get a divorce due to the fact she doesn't want it to effect the relationship you have with your son and doesn't want a life like that if your unhappy the best thing to do is get out of it weather she wants it or not don't put yourself or your son in the position where both parents are unhappy or arguing or ones being treated badly its not fair to you or your kid to see one of there parents unhappy and you wouldn't want him to think its okay to stay with someone who didn't treat him the right way i don't think any person would know someone cheated on them without hearing the facts and evidence proven there spouse or significant other cheated on them if she did it once she will do it again because everyone knows right from wrong so cheating on someone knowing its been done to you before isn't at all right your son would want both of you guys to be happy weather you guys are together or not but when you do or if u already have or considering filing for divorce try to be in a better place then your her when it comes to supporting your son because then she cannot say anything bad about you or your parenting styles or file for full custody then your son will always be in your care0
Most Helpful Guy
"I do not want this marriage anymore but I'm honestly asking for advice for future relationships as to what I did wrong and what I could do different."
With being big hearted, giving and forgiving, which she may have interpreted as a lack of self esteem, you essentially became submissive. Seriously, her lack of respect for you began long before the day she wrecked your truck and slept with another guy in a matter of a twenty four hour period. It started when you consistently catered to her wants and needs and forgave her prior infractions without so much as exposing her to the consequences.
That approached failed to hit home with her. It was not what she needed. She needed to respect you, and that did not come into fruition as she did not feel that you genuinely respected yourself, in my opinion.
For this, she felt dominate and empowered in the relationship. And, as such, she lost the fear of crossing your personal boundaries and the resulting consequences. Essentially, it reached a point where she began to take chances.
When she cheated the fist time, what course of action did you take to express your disapproval? And, the second? And, the third?0