I don't love him but I can't leave him?

I have been with my partner for 16 years that's half my life and have had 2 children with him. At first things were great but soon soured he won't hit me and at time never noticed but my friends just went until I had none because I spent all my time with him. We moved to a village where he grew up and I didn't know anyone. he would go out night after night leave me alone with our child, he didn't work at the time so I was giving him money and he was cheating on me. it got to stage I fell into deep depression and for a whole month I was housebound. Things got a little better after our second child was born, but the damage was done he still went out with frineds while. i was alone in the house, i thibk truthfully he was ashasmed of me I've since met his friends but i get feeling they laugh behind my back because of all the things he did to me that i have started to turn my attention elsewhere towards men, I've tried leaving him but he says he will kill himself and he will change which he does for a few days. he regers to me as an ahole and lazy and my head is empty there's nothing to. keep boredom away and he won't let me. leave even if i did. i have noone to go to, i made one friend at beginning of year and had to stop seeing her because he told me he didn't want me to go out and he punched a wall it got to much i ran to bathroom and swallowed some bleach. i can't take anymore its killing me, my family have their own problems and they aren't bothered with me anyway, and as i already tyoed I've no friends to turn too.. my life is a mess I've even thought about getting myself sectioned just to get away from him i can't do it nomore.

someone please help me im desperate for happiness

Updates:
Sorry that's he would hit me, he hit me when I was pregnant with out first kid, punched me in head with second and punched me numerous times in face..
Please don't type just leave him go stay with family he will come round and sit t my mums or sisters until I come home threatening to tell them things about me.. I can't breathe I'm lonely and bored and if I had somewhere to go I would

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What Guys Said 1

  • Okay, this is a personality disorder and is nothing but straight manipulation on his part. I have been with women like this and they don't change unless you create the change. Even in saying that, most of the time you will never have the "true" respect from this person, that you so desire. Don't even think any of this has anything to do with you, as he just doesn't want to lose power over you. This is not a healthy relationship in any form, kids or not. We forget that everyone has baggage yet that is also no excuse to be resented or taken for granted. At this point, get out of that relationship and be around positive people for reinforcement. You can find happiness without him, they just know how to pull our strings.

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