Was I wrong to have my ex arrested?

My ex is 19 and I'm 24. She confessed in tears that she kissed another guy at a college party due to losing a bet. She pleaded with me not to dump her. I called her a slut and dumped her. I have no regrets for what I said and I didn't feel sorry seeing her cry. However, at school today she was still very upset. She came up to me and slapped me extremely hard after yelling at me for awhile. I immediately pressed charges and she was arrested and is now sitting in jail for assault. Her parents are pissed off at me but I don't care. Was I right?


Most Helpful Guy

  • you sure are right! she made a mistake and is angry with you, really... i think she has borderline as well if you ask me. keep an eye on her mate, she sounds crazy, keep a healthy distance!


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What Girls Said 26

  • It's scary how stupid the both of you are. It's so obvious you didn't give a fuck about her, she should have realized that, but instead she slapped you and you got your man card revoked. She was also called a slut by the guy she liked and arrested on grounds of assault. I really hope you don't go around bragging about this, because some dude may just kick your ass for her. Meh, life.

    • I think that's illegal.

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    • No clearly you're the stupid one.

    • They were both wrong, and they both did stupid shit. I'm telling not to brag about it, because I don't feel like he needs to have his ass kicked. but whatever, don't care. by the way scorpio909 if you pull a gun on someone you best be willing to use it, because if you don't that's a great way to be beat within half an inch of your life.

  • Ok. First of all, a slut is a person who goes around FUCKING a lot of people, not kissing one guy at one party. At least she was honest about it and told you right away and asked for your forgiveness. Your pride was hurt and you overreacted by calling her a slut over one fucking kiss. And, slapping you was wrong of her, because if you would've called me a slut over that minor shit, I would've broke your fucking jaw. What a little bitch you are.

  • Arrested over a slap? Are you some sort of man-baby? I didn't even know slapping somebody was illegal. I guess it is technically physical assault but it's such a minor thing. How immature of you, you just wanted to get revenge because she hurt your little ego. Fucking hell man. Get a grip.

    • She cheated on him, dude. She definitely doesn't get to slap him.

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    • Well... technically... that would be child abuse.

    • -_- technically. Yes. But my OPINION, which is what was asked, is that a smack is a minor thing and not worthy of police involvement. I stand by my opinion.

  • You were right in having her arrested. It's assault, no matter what. It's not fair that men are oppressed for domestic violence when women can get away with slapping.

    However, the name calling is a bit childish, don't you think?

  • I wanna say yes, you were. She was in the wrong. Yes she was upset, but that's no reason to put your hands on somebody. She caused the whole situation and she'll think twice next time.
    It's a better route than say, hitting her back.

    • agree. and some girls should learn not to be crazy in mind.

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    • Exactly and that's the best approach.

    • i agree.. also, so that some girls will not get used to this kind of behavior thinking that just because she's a female it's not that bad to physically hurt a male :)

  • I agreed that u broke off with her sinxe she's at fault. I dont understand why these days girls like to hit guys even when they r not being assaulted. It is her fault. But do you need to call. police for that? Kinda of over react

  • This chick is crazy. She cheated on you then has the nerve to attack u and be upset cause u dumped her for it. Wtf? She is in the wrong. Then she puts her hands on you wow sounds like she needs a little jail time to cool her off and teach her a lesson cuz she sounds crazy

    • Yet, I'm the asshole.

    • I think The ladies are justifying this one. If it had been a man that cheated on his girl then got upset and slapped her for dumping him it would be a different story. a man hitting a woman is wrong and a woman hitting a man is wrong. Also you could've hit her back i would say that would be The immature thing to do. But she needs to learn you can't go around hitting ppl.

  • you're an asshole. bets are deep. and sometimes it can mean your life if something was seriously bet on. You should be grown enough to handle your business without the law. now you've possibly ruined her career because that goes on her record. what the actual fuck is your problem

    • Nothing. You do bad things, you do the time.

    • She deserves what happened. If a man did this NO one would feel sympathy for him.


    • I wasn't in the wrong. She was.

    • I did not say that you were. But you asked us if we thought you were wrong for it or not. But you are telling everyone that you are not wrong. So why even ask us?

  • Honestly I don't think so. You can't be a baby every time something like this happens. Your gonna get slapped more than once just like a guy is gonna slap a girls Ass more than once and they never press charges. You really over reacted and I'd look at you different in school and not like you. And the break up was over reaction too. It was a bet she didn't do it for her benefit.

    • 0 logic in this.

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    • She brought on herself by putting her hands on me. You do bad things, there are consequences.

    • Yeah but she didn't murder you or beat the shit out of you. Lol.

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What Guys Said 25

  • First of all, she shouldn't have made that bet. Betting to kiss another guy while having a boyfriend is no-go. Her telling you the truth about it was mature of her, and the right thing to do. You breaking up with her about it doesn't seem wrong to me either; she never should have kissed another guy, let alone solely for losing a bet.

    Calling her a slut, I can imagine these words being thrown around at such a time and believe that a sincere apology wouldn't be out of place in case you decided to move forward with her.

    Her still being upset about it does seem to show that she does care for you and does feel very bad about it. The fact that she cried about it when telling you suggests that as well.

    Her slapping you wasn't right of her, but with all pent up emotions and stress I can see that happen as well. We are only human. I don't agree with pressing charges though, you don't want to put a girl in jail over something like that. Especially when it was mostly because she cared for you and was frustrated you dumped her after she told you the truth. I agree with your parents, you were her ex-boyfriend and it -was- in your main interest to take care for her. Even if she now no longer is, you should still be a gentleman about it. I don't believe this is something that goes away easily, she might have trouble with her record in the future. Relationships or breakups can turn messy, but unless she slapped your eye out I would suggest to try and work things out between the people involved without notifying the authorities.

    • Well, she's out of jail now. But I have no intention to speak to her ever again. After this semester is over, I hope I never see her again.

  • You did the right thing. Violence is not the answer. 40% of all domestic violence cases are from men who are abused by women. Honestly, if a girl slapped me... I'd arm bar her ass.

    • Women think they can do what they want. I made sure she didn't get away with this.

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    • She can talk, have sex, and kiss all the guys she wants. It won't bother me. She's an ex for a reason.

    • That's good. Just put it behind you. DO NOT EVER take the route she took. No matter how much trouble she may cause you in the future.

  • Really dude, you are an ass. first it was only a kiss and from a bet to it isn't like she like she went to bed with him, so you deserved to be slapped. second did you really have to call the cops, that's kind of a bitch move man.

    • Well, she's in jail. She has a record now. It'll teach her a lesson to not put her damn hands on me anymore. I could care less what you or anyone else thinks of it.

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    • No, but I'm a dude who isn't gonna let a woman get away with anything. That's who I am.

    • Doesn't sound like it, sounds like your mad that she emasculated you, probably in front of your friends to.

  • Really? You had her arrested for slapping you? You sound like a total bitch, and I'm sure a lot of other guys would think so. And it sounds like you're having regrets for reacting in such an unmanly way.

    • No actually if you read the comment most guy like me agree with what he did.

    • Part of me is regretting it. But if I bail her out she won't learn anything. She'd probably do it again.

    • Dude don't bail her out or drop the charges. What you feeling now is simply you questioning your own choice. People do that after a big choice.

  • You should've just mailed her a letter full of anthrax.

  • I reckon you wee wrong, in more ways than one.
    She lost a bet, and didn't back out of it. So what? It may have been a foolish bet to make, but she didn't fulfill her end of the deal because looked forward to it or enjoyed it.
    There's a word for people who call the cops, when they can sort things out themselves. Around here they call them a "dog". I'd probably whack you too, just for doing that.

    • And I'd have you locked up for assault.

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    • @Asker , maybe it's a cultural difference. We have a very strong anti-police culture in this country. There's some justification for that.
      Yes, I'd whack you, and yes doing time wouldn't worry me. You'd become a very unpopular boy.

    • You think I care? I don't care about being unpopular.

  • Yas u were right about it. What kinda gurl would do such thingwith another guy when she know she's alrdy in aother man's possession. Silly gurls like dat dont deserve sumone is loyal, luvin' and caring person. U were right to dump her azz tbh but i know how u feel when u reported her. I know the feeling x)

    • Has this happened to you?

  • You were right and you were wrong on separate issues.

    First off, where you were wrong. When she mentioned kissing the other guy, you severely overreacted and acted like a complete fucking asshole. Own the fact that you acted like a complete fucking asshole and grow up--she did NOT deserve to be treated that way. And given your age difference, you should be completely understanding that she's at a very immature age (and frankly, so are you) and that she is going to make mistakes--a simple "do not ever do that again if you want to be with me" would have more than sufficed for a girl of her age. She came to you crying because she realized her mistake and was being honest and trying to make things right--she should have been commended and embraced by you. You'd be amazed at what developing a sense of forgiveness can do for your life, and I highly recommend you start developing it, for you own good.

    Where you were right was to get the police involved when she hit you and yelled at you. Domestic abuse is never acceptable, period, from men or women. She completely crossed the line there. If you intend to follow through with the charges, that's your right--despite how poorly you treated her.

    Now if I were in your situation (and this isn't judgement, as I said, you are well within your rights to press charges), I would have the charges dropped. Not because she's a girl (that doesn't matter in domestic abuse), but for this reason only: to learn to develop that sense of forgiveness. You both acted extremely immaturely (her more than you--you aren't the one in jail right now), but what will benefit your life more--sticking it to a young, immature girl "just to show women they can't just do whatever they want," or developing your compassion and capacity for forgiveness? You're within your rights either way. But give it some thought.

  • Don't you think you're being a little harsh? I do. You were being pretty harsh for dumping her in the first place. Then you were being harsh and vengeful for having her arrested. You want to potentially ruin her for the rest of her life because of somethings so trivial? That will be on her record FOREVER and can do serious harm. There are jobs she will never be able to get because of that. I understand why you don't like what she did, but come on!

    You asked if you were wrong. Hell yea you were wrong. Even if you drop the charges it will still be on her record. Good thing you dumped her though, she probably deserves better than you. You sound like a total judgmental control freak.

    • Let me tell you something. I loved this girl. That has gone out of the door. It will be on her record as a lesson. Don't hit people.

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    • You are allowed to feel that. I also don't care how you feel. Do the crime, do the time. I didn't touch her, she hit me. Now she will face the consequences like an adult will.

    • You realize you're going to have to testify at court? How much is the time off work or school going to cost? Her lawyer is going to do his best to discredit you. If he's good he might tear you a new asshole.

      You'd better hope that your ex doesn't decide to play hardball like you did. What if she says that you've been abusing her or threatening her? It doesn't have to be true to cause problems. That's one problem with vengeance, it can be a never ending cycle.

      Drop the charges and walk away. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if you like who you are, if you like what you've become.

  • Yes you did the right thing. I'm sick of this notion how girls and women can't do bodily harm to someone what a bunch of bull. I bet her parents would be singing a different tune if you were the accuser.

    • Exactly! Double standards everywhere on this post.

    • Exactly if the roles where reverse the tune would be different.

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