Why do I feel thiss way, regrets and in pain?

I came out of a really bad relationship
after six years he says I never wanted to marry you and never will..
he said he's havin a girl and he enjoys the sex and couple of bad things about me,, he always denied me and treated me like shit,,,

but he was my first love and when we first met he cried saying promise me that you won't love nobody after me, i did
I kept it for so long even when he started new relationships
during me, after me and so on,

now there is this guy who i like so much and i've knowing for long enough to trust,

I always ditched this guy for my ex because I know deep inside my ex will always be in my heart no matter how bad he changed...

yesterday this new guy and me were talking
and i never really felt this way
of smiling just because he's talking to me
but i keep on remembering my promises to my ex
and it's getting hard for me to open up and love again

why am i feeling this way?
over a guy who got someone already and who always cheats on me and lies to my face when he knows that i know everything

it's a bit confusing :(


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12

Most Helpful Guy

  • I imagine it's because you held so fast to your convictions, instead of to the guy himself. It's like going to a different culture and being expected to act differently, despite the fact you've acted in a certain way for so, so many years.

    I know it's difficult, but the guy you left sounds like a scumbag and you need to let him go. I don't care what he did or said in the past -- he's no good for you now. Your life is far, FAR better off without him and the less exposure you have with him, the better. Preferably no exposure at all (cut him OUT of your life).

    Don't be afraid to give other guys chances, but remember to take things slow and get to know the guy well. Us guys CAN be utter scumbags and can be pervertedly minded and deceitful (look at the last guy), but we can also be fantastic and dedicated too. Just make sure you take things slow so you can assess this guy properly.

    I wish you well wherever your life goes :)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Your ex planted a very big seed in your mind, and the roots of it are all throughout. You feel bad because you let somebody who just doesn't seem like a great person, have such a profound impact on your life, but he's put you on the back burner, and he knows it, and he knows if he runs into a problem in a relationship, he can fall back to you, regroup, and go off again. You have to put your foot down and tell him you aren't going to be his backup plan anymore, and that if he doesn't want to be with you now, he won't get you back ever, and you have to commit to that. Be the stronger person, cut your ties with him if he thinks your joking. Playing with a woman's heart is like taking the pin out of a grenade, just make sure it blows up on him, not you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You are still holding on to a ghost from your past, sweetie, who has a way of Still rattling your chains with the skeletons of you and him in his closet. And hearing these sacred words in your ear Makes it even Eerier, scarier and now you can't seem to shake Them Nor him out of your head.
    You're feeling guilty, he has succeeded in doing this and no matter who you are with or who He is with and what he has done, These wary words ring in your head and just can't seem to Go----Dead.
    You need to learn to let go. He is a cheat sheet to his dying day and a liar to boot. He's a loser Today And Tomorrow he will be No different, but You can make all the Difference in your own Life------With someone who has hung in the eaves and is still hanging in there. Time to wake up, sweetie.
    Give yourself and him a chance for romance. Do some serious soul searching and leave all the past to pass on like a bad storm that now should be leaving you calm and collected with all your good senses.
    Life is too short to be hooked at the hip in mind, soul and body to someone who will never change. Time for a new 'Change' in your own life and if you don't go for it, you snooze, you loose.
    Good luck, God bless. xx

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