He's manipulative and I think he might be cheating on me, is it time to break up?

I'm going to try and explain this as brief as possible.

My boyfriend and I have been together going on 4 months and it was going amazingly well up until a couple of weeks ago. He started becoming distant, I had to go into the hospital the other week because I was sick and he only tried to call once which I couldn't answer because I was being seen to, but then when I tried calling him for 6 hours after that he didn't pick up and then on Thursday he kicked up a fuss about staying over in mine because he said he feels uncomfortable there but I raised the point that even though I feel uncomfortable at his I stay there because I love him and want to spend time with him and it led to a huge fight.

So for the past few days I've been really upset, I called him yesterday to talk it over and during the call he called me spoiled, selfish, childish and said I was emotionally blackmailing him into staying in mine. It upset me because I always put him and others before myself but whenever I ask for anything suddenly I'm selfish and spoiled.

So I hacked into his Facebook to see what he was saying about me which I know is wrong but I found messages going back to August of him flirting and sexting a girl. It really hurt because he was my first and he said he'd never do anything like that to me. But also in the past he's manipulated me into spending a lot of money on him like so far I've spent over £300 on him while he hasn't spent anything on me due to him not having a job and he's also pushed me into doing stuff I don't want to do every time I have said no to sex he goes on until I give in.

After all of this though I know I still love him so I don't know what to do, all my friends say I should break up with him but I don't think I want to.

Any advice?

Updates:
I ended up admitting that I looked at his fb messages and he said that he's been talking to that girl since before we were dating and that's just how they talk to each other.
Then a couple hours later he called back and said he could've moved past everything else but me checking his fb was a deal breaker so he said he thinks we should break up so I thought it was over.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel that you two should talk like grown adults and within that talk both can express how you truly feel at this point of your relationship. If both agree on the fact of still having feels for each other i recommend you to work things out BUT if YOU feel like this is the breaking point and you see no solution I recommend you to end it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I would be upset you hacked my Facebook, boyfriend or not, that's a no no

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    • (Continued from my updates)
      Then I called him back and suggested we just take a break instead, so today I'm going to his to talk everything out so there'll be no unanswered questions while we're not talking. I'll update later with what happens...

    • Show All
    • happens*

    • I know you don't care I just needed somewhere to put the extra update -_-

What Girls Said 6

  • He's a cheat sheet in sheep's clothing, this Wolf who will always be howling for not just this girl, but any other down the road, will never change his zebra stripes and forever if you stay any longer, it will be nothing but a "Forever" beaten path.
    Never mind his damn dealbreaker, screw him. He was the Skunk who gave you the Raw deal when you needed him the most when you went into the hospital. This proves to me that he will never be there when you him, even if you were on your deathbed because you never know what he is doing and Who he is doing it with.
    Give him his walking papers. You deserve better, Daily I.. There is someone far better than this low class loser who doesn't know a good thing when he had it by his side. His bedside manner is not what the doctor here ordered and I would rather be alone than to be with someone who Is---Spoiled, selfish and childish himself. He's a user, a loafer, a sponger to boot and whatever he spills from his tongue is nothing but Spit and spew.
    He did you a favor when he said it was over. Don't turn back, don't look over your shoulder at the past, keep moving forward, each day will be easier with each baby step.
    Good luck, God bless, hope you're feeling better. xx

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  • Ask yourself "would I do this to someone I love" I imagine the answer is no, he sounds like a narcissist when you love someone you don't manipulate you deserve better sweety and having been there I know it's hard leaving but our hearts are our own and need to be treasured xx best of luck

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  • talk and you should clear things up.. and if he denies it.. go break up with him.

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  • He sounds like someone I dated. Manipulative, selfish, etc. The best thing to do is dump him, believe me, you'll be way happier in the long run. No guy should ever make you feel bad, especially when it comes to things like sex. I know it's hard, but you will find someone better.

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    • (4th update)
      We broke up but it was his choice not mine, I was willing to work it out, but he had his mind set before I sat down and talked to him. He said he still loved me but doesn't want to be with me. I asked about the girl he was talking to and he said that he was talking to her before we started going out and that's just how they talk. He also said its my fault for putting 100% into the relationship because he was only putting in 80%. I feel hurt but really annoyed so I asked him for some money back and the guitar I got him for a birthday/ Christmas present this year but he refuses to give me the guitar...

    • Wow what a douche. You are better off without him for sure. He did you a favor, but I know it hurts now, but you'll see in the long run it was a blessing.

  • its better to breakup with him

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  • My advice?
    Dump him. He is a narcissist. He won't change. You will be better off without him.

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