24 year old, self-confessed alcoholic, drug abusing shell of a man?

Hey guys, I genuinely haven't come to ask this question out of self pity. Just looking for some friendly advice. I've been in constant relationships - from one to the next since I was 16 (now 24). Now when a girl leaves me, it sends me off the rails. I've had 6 girlfriends, and with each breakup, my breakdown gets worse. I've been abusing alcohol for a few years now, just to numb how s**t I feel about myself and my life. Even so low as to steal my mums partners car whilst heavily intoxicated with alcohol and prescription pills. More recently, stole her car aswell. I've fallen in with drug dealers and criminals. Come close to losing my job so many times its unreal. Just come off of speed amphetamine (which I was taking because I couldn't bare to sleep, knowing she still wouldn't be there) as I can no longer afford it. Now I find myself sabotaging myself and every relationship I get into. I can't face being alone.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't go down that road I know a lot of people who have and they are not happy at all and regret every second of it. Most have kids and are single because this problem. Just change who you chill with and handle being alone because you really should work on yourself before getting involved in anything. Drugs mess with your brain too and the neurons so your emotions are probably out of wack. I'm sorry you feel this way but I'd suggest staying with family and spending a lot of genuine time with them because in the end they're all the matter.

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    • Thanks! :) Off the drugs now. Still drinking a little. I feel a lot better as the days have gone by. I won't be rushing into anything else until I feel content with my life. I want to comment on all of these opinions individually but hope that this one comment reaches you all - I want to thank you guys out there for taking a moment out of your day to post your opinions on my situation. It's amazing to think that complete strangers would give me a little bit of time to try and help me, when they don't owe me a thing. Once again guys, thanks :)

    • You're welcome :) hope everything works out.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You were my mirror image, fifteen years ago. I was maybe a little more violent. And hateful.

    I can give you what I know.

    1. Your issue with women is not due to any other problem but your own innate longing and desires that are impossible for a woman to fulfill, how you want her to fulfill them. Yes, they seem natural, and yes, you long for comfort, but no, she can never provide it. You have high hope... but it is always dashed to pieces when she leaves, because she senses she can never satisfy you (inside). This leaves you more hopeless.

    2. The drugs are causing almost all of your problems. The highs you experience set those standards I am talking about. If you could "See" your mind when you are blazed (I did meth, too) your emotions are getting caught up in the burn. They are "Heightened" artificially.

    You dying inside is what happens when you have these expectations inside (Whether you are fully aware of them or not! Honestly I never knew how tore up I was till God showed me.) that nobody can possibly ever fulfill.

    Alcohol has the same effect. Your euphoria is your new foundation. You work from it, live from it, and it is impossible to satisfy.

    Truth be told, I seriously nearly fatally overdosed twice on drugs.

    It took a wolf who I loved more than life to reach me. I quit the drugs, stopped hanging out with criminals.

    It's taken a lifetime, but I am finally understanding who God really is. Without God healing my deeper seated pain from a scarred childhood, I wouldn't be here today.

    My best advice is to give your heart, and your life to Jesus. He will guide you. Seek God, He knows what you need. God is real, and He WILL answer you, if you call out to Him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i think you are pushing yourself too hard to move on sometimes

    like you break up and then you THINK you have processed all your feelings about it but you haven't and then you get into another relationship (which could also bring back past memories) and another break up
    its like stabbing an open wound

    i would recommend you get your mum and/or her partner or some of your friends (just anybody you're close to and you can trust with this) and ask them to keep eyes on you, tell them to tie you up if they have to when they see you getting self destructive. i also recommend counseling or therapy, sometimes just talking really helps. its a good sign that you wrote this btw, this is usually the hardest step of all and you took it

    and like i said give yourself time to heal and go back to the balanced you again before going into another relationship.

    and I don't know if you believe in god or not but if you do i promise you praying just does miracles sometimes. you just feel connected to something inside you that can bring you back balance
    and this world is too big for us to face alone anyways lo

    good luck!

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  • what is so scary about being alone? why is your happiness so intertwined with the idea that you need a partner? you don't need another person to make you whole. that is a common misconception. you just need to grow up and take control of your life. first thing i'd suggest is attending alcoholics anonymous and narcotics anonymous meetings.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I know how it feels to have a total disregard for ones self because another person took a part of you. And the thing is, you never lost it. You just need to set your eyes upon something greater than yourself. There's something amazing about sacrificing the things you think you need to see your goals. I stopped drinking, smoking (marijuana), and quit that suicidal bullshit because I want to take care of my animals (4 dogs and 4 cats) and there's more to be taken care of one day. But I need to enjoy my life and do the best I can because what the fuck am I doing here? Why should I torture myself and hurt myself just because me and another woman didn't see eye to eye or there was a misunderstanding?

    You need to cold cut all of that out, bring all those you hold near and dear to you. And if it's no one thats quite alright because you'll be able to say you made yourself a better man in the end. Life is stressful. We all experience our own trials. Make something of this one life.

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    • Invest your time and of course thats a gamble and the stakes are high but life is sure to shine on the ones that keep coming back. The ones that are resilient.

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