My boyfriend said she is prettier than me!

My boyfriend of three years moved to another school so we don't see each other as often as before. He has a new classmate there who is his best friend in the school, and she is absolutely beautiful. She's Korean, has beautiful black hair, perfect skin, and a perfect body. So I'm threatened by her looks.

One day I asked my boyfriend if he thought she was prettier than me and he said, "Well she is pretty." And I said "That's not what I asked, I asked if she was prettier. Be honest." He tried to change the topic at first but I demanded for the answer and he said yes. I already knew she was prettier and I know he was honest, but I wanted him to say I was prettier.

When you're in a relationship, shouldn't you think your partner is the prettiest in the world? Especially if you're in love with them? My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a week because when he wants to, I tell him, "Go to that Korean girl who's prettier than me." So we've fought a lot this week. My boyfriend says I'm not mature and I should appreciate his honesty because most men would lie.

Am I overreacting? Isn't my boyfriend a jerk? I find it very racist that he would say an Asian is prettier than me, when I'm White.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He was honest, you asked, you kept asking. It wasn't racist, I recommend you to look up the term before shouting it out. What you make of it is racist though, as if white people are always prettier than other races.

    With that said, he's with you. Not with her. Looks aren't the only thing that make a relationship. I'd suggest you to try and get over this and not shut him down by repeatedly telling him to go to that Korean girl, otherwise, he just might and you'll make another question saying he's a jerk for doing what you told him to.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally in my eyes yes, I think your partner should be the most beautiful person in your life. I know that for me, when I'm in love with a guy, it's impossible that another guy can be more attractive because the love that I feel for my partner is beyond the love or attraction I could ever feel with someone else. Obviously I will still find other guys good looking and such, but when my partner asks if I think another guy is more attractive then the answer could never be yes because of the fact that I'm in love with him and that makes him far more attractive than any other guy. So with that said, I understand why you feel hurt and angry. I would too for sure. Problem is... there's a chance that he probably said that without realizing the complications. The mere fact that he's with you, is enough proof that there must be something he feels for you, that he doesn't feel for this other girl. You're the one he's committed to and you've come a long way so there must be many special memories between you two. Talk it out with him and ask him to explain what he meant by she's prettier. If he meant that in a way that suggests he'd rather want to be with her than you and that he's losing his feelings, then it's time to reconsider the relationship. But if he can still declare that you're the only girl he truly loves and wants to be with then I think you should look past this. Perhaps explain to him what I said at the top of my answer. Tell him that you feel like you should be the prettiest because of his love for you. See what he has to say about that.

    I don't think you're overreacting but I don't see how his comment was racist. That's slightly taking it too far. But it was a jerky thing to say.

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What Guys Said 17

  • If someone is in a relationship because they find their partner "the prettiest in the world", then that relationship is finished as soon as they find a better looking person. People evaluate based on looks only when they first meet somebody. However, after knowing the person and having access to their brain and personality, appearances become extremely insignificant. Unless, of course, the person is shallow, immature, or overly sexual.

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  • Your superficiality is abhorring your more redeeming qualities. Not to mention your kinda racist. Your boyfriend could have easily mitigated the situation by telling u that you were the prettiest but u wouldn't have believed him anyway because you yourself believe she is prettier. Your bf seems like a cool guy and u should value his honesty, don't let your low self esteem mask the fact that he cares for u deeply.

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  • Yeah you're overreacting. Do not ever ask a guy that question. That makes guys really uncomfortable, we like you that's why we are together. Yes we may find other people attractive doesn't mean we will leave you for them. Are brad Pitt or ryan what's his name or Matt Damon better looking than him? We here you talk about how you want to marry them every day. Get over it he is with you

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  • Well he should have just lied, because in the whole world there's bound to be people prettier than your gf. The difference is that your not with your gf just because of looks and therefore she is the most beautiful person to him. I do think your over reacting a little

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  • Trust me, there are thousands of people prettier than you, but it's the fact that he is still choosing you over them that matters. Sounds like there may be some insecurities, and these will ruin your relationship if you throw statements like you quoted, out at him.

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  • What the fuck? I was actually taking your question seriously until I got the last sentence. You're a fucking moron.

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    • Totally agree. Some people have absolutely no clue what "racist" really means. Yet the throw it around so irresponsibly. By far the most misused word in our society today. Freakin everything is racist these days. Not!

  • You both fail. Him for saying she's prettier, you for asking the question. I'm with @xrabbitheartx on this one. Your s/o should be the most beautiful person on the planet to you. And I'm going beyond looks here.

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  • You are actually overreacting.. Your boyfriend isn't jerk.. He's just honest.. and you should appreciate him that he didn't lie.. He wanted to change the topic because he didn't want to hurt you..

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  • First - don't ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer.

    Second - there will ALWAYS be a girl prettier than you. Always. He's with you for more than just looks. Yes he's attracted to you but if you expect to be the prettiest person in the world to him forever and your relationship is based on that you should just break up now. It is unsustainable.

    You are completely over reacting.

    Apologize for putting him on the spot and never bring it up again. I'd find you less attractive just for asking that and making me answer.

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  • If i was your boyfriend you would certainly be overreacting.
    There have been prettier girls around all the time and sure she is prettier then you and he admit that.
    Does that make him leave? Not at all, he went for you knowing exactly who you are and knowing he would be happy with that forever (If that was not his intention he shouldn't have started it or at least let you know so i assume it was his intention).

    There will be many girls around him that all have something better then you have, but he wants the complete package. He wants that one special girl that has it all. That one special girl he loves deeply in his heart. So at the end of the day no matter what girl crosses his path, he will always want you.

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  • Some tough love for you: You are overreacting, your boyfriend is not a jerk, and it is YOU who is being racist.

    Mature people do not date someone just because of their looks--personality and values are far more important to a long-term relationship. Some news for you: for the average woman, beauty will start fading very, very fast as the age of 30 is approached--so if you want a life long partner, you'd better be bringing other things to the table than looks, because you won' have them for the majority of your adult life.

    So, your boyfriend seems to be actualizing a more mature approach to his relationships. But if you want to keep him (he sounds like a decent, although slightly inexperienced guy), you need to start thinking about your behavior and thought more than looks.

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  • You are overreacting, badly. Of course he'll find other girls that are prettier. Just like how u probably find some guys hotter.

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  • Thats not cool at all now what will you do?

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  • Grow up little girl

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  • So you're both racist and a whiner. Marvelous. To be honest, just because he's dating you, it doesn't mean that other people cannot be more attractive than you, or even be objectively physically more appealing. Based on what I've read so far, I'm surprised he hasn't left for someone who's a bit less dribbling in entitlement. Maybe he should go for the korean girl if she has a more appealing personality as well.

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  • It's your fault. Don't ask the question if you don't want the honest answer.

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  • dear so what if she is better in looks you yourself are making yourself vunerable stay strong so what she got a 2 3 points more in facial looks maybe you are better than her everything believe in yourself first than only anyone else would believe in you and ya dont over react

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What Girls Said 28

  • Wellllll, they are some questions you just shouldn't ask your boyfriend. No good ever comes from it. One of those questions are 'Is that girl prettier than me?' A smart guy knows not to answer that one, and your guy tried to bow out of it to his credit. You pushed for the answer though, and didn't like what you heard. I really don't see why you are mad at him. If anything you put him in a hell of a spot and if I were him I'd have already left over that jealous, insecure behavior.

    To answer your other question, no, you don't have to be the prettiest girl ever to your boyfriend. There are thousands of prettier girls, and thousands of less attractive girls than you out there. What really matters is how you make him feel. If you make him happy. If he makes you happy. He obviously thinks you are acceptably attractive if he is with you, why be insecure?

    Don't be surprised if he DOES go to the Korean girl after all this, but it won't be because she was prettier than you. It'll be because of your poor attitude and behavior. Sorry cupcake, just calling it as I see it here.

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  • Wtf, why would it be racist? Are Asians incapable of being prettier than white people, or?
    You're overreacting. You're the one who created drama over nothing. Get over yourself.

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  • I agree with Rabbitheart. When we are in relationship, he is most handsome man on this planet. Same goes for both ways. We are the most beautiful women on their eyes. It doesn't matter there are more beautiful people girls than us. This is how relationship works.

    However, I also agree other comments too. You pushed him to say it. If you didn't push, I don't think he would have said on his will. On the other hand, he took honesty thing exaggerated. lol He should be honest with you if course. Not someone on the street. She is not your relationship concern. She is beautiful so what? What can this information bring to your relationship? ! Lmao

    He said an Asian is pretty. I don't see any racist comment. Because we all know every race has own, beauty. No need to compare. Everyone is unique and different.

    You are beautiful too. This is why he is with you. You need to be confident about yourself first. I also feel there are other problems. Is it the distance thing? Don't you feel a bit disturbed because he is I'm different environment that you are not part of? Well you can't tie him or close his eyes? You can not. And you shouldn't. I believe openness and confidence. They are very important in relationship.
    Be open to him, what you really feel not good about relationship.
    And be confident about yourself. Three years is long time. If he didn't find you beautiful, he was not with you.

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  • You're being a bit immature/overreacting in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, but come on... You basically made him tell you she is prettier and now you use that to make him miserable? Of course you are "supposed" to think of your partner as the most handsome/prettiest , but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there who look better than you. I DO believe he made a mistake too by saying "yes", but he knew you would get upset, but at the same time you forced him. There is a difference in pretty as looks and beautiful as a whole. He chose you, he is with you for the beautiful girl you are, looks and personality. And the fact that he said she is prettier isn't racist. She could've said that about a girl who was white if that were the case. So in the end you both did wrong, but you should try and not give him such a hard time and try and see how beautiful you are, because the things that damage a relationship the most are lack of trust and also insecurity about yourself or one another. Best of luck :)

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  • First things first, just because he thinks an Asian girl is prettier than you it doesn't make him racist. He didn't say white girls are ugly, he said she's hotter than you. That's dumb.

    Anyway, i think he should of lied to you. That's just what people do for their partners. My guy is no Nelly (hottest guy on the planet) but I'll tell him he's better so he feels good.
    I guess he's right though, at least he doesn't lie.

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  • You knew the answer and asked anyway. You're being immature and catty.

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  • I find it funny that you are calling him racist but you say "i find it very racist that he would say an Asian is prettier than me". Why can't an Asian be prettier than a white girl. there's beautiful in all races. White women aren't always going to be first and put on a pedistal. Get over yourself!! 😒🙅

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  • Chill out, babe! There's always going to be someone prettier, or smarter, or something-er than you. That goes for everyone. Your partner is supposed to find you attractive- which he does of course, but beauty shouldn't be the most important factor in your relationship.

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  • You asked. He told you the truth like you asked. He did exactly what you wanted. You shouldn't have got so jealous, you should have remembered he's with you and not her. He picked you for a reason. He must have noticed something different about you.
    One more thing I wanted to say was, all races can be beautiful. You even admitted she was prettier than you. So, what if she's Korean and you're white. It doesn't make you any different. He wasn't being racist, if anything you were being racist.

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  • Don't push him away, you're pushing him towards her girl! You shouldv'e just sat him down and told him that what he said upset you, then he would've apologized, and you guys would've been back to normal!

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  • He's going to dump your crazy behind, because look at the ugliness you're displaying. Get over it, it's life and you better stop looking down on Asians with your ignorant self.

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  • You're being a childish bitch and if you keep up with this attitude you won't have a boyfriend. You are not the prettiest girl in the world and you pressured him into either lying or telling the truth and suffering the fall out. I love my bf and I think he's absolutely gorgeous, but he is not the most handsome guy in the world, and although I know he loves me and thinks I'm gorgeous, I am not the most beautiful girl in the world and would never want my boyfriend to feel like he had to lie to me. I think you need to grow up.

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    • I didn't even read the snarky little racist comment you left at the end. Gosh, what a catch you are!

  • All I get from this story is.. why do you ask questions when you don't want to hear honest answers?

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  • Yeah completely immature. You asked... No demanded! for the answer and when he gave it to you, you pissed.
    ANd no your partner will not find you the prettiest person in the world there will someone pretty than you, but he WANTS YOU and your being immature and petty about it. And he is not being racist at all! He's being honest. Love him cause he would have lied to you and should have. Be grateful that you have someone like him. And you're the reason why guys think the way they do to topics like this.

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  • She may be prettier than you. But your boyfriend is WITH YOU... although I'm not sure why now. You're being incredibly immature and really racist. Do you want your boyfriend to lie? I had a boyfriend who admitted having a fling (before we dated) with someone who he thought was hot. He didn't consider me hot, though. I was more cute. However, he liked my mind and motivation more than he liked her. It's not about looks. You don't have to be the prettiest one for your boyfriend; you just have to be his best decision to date you.

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  • Sounds like you're like the rest here who implies an Asian can't be beautiful but only a white can.

    It's all to do with your insecurity really.

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  • Honestly you and him should chill a bit. if you are both into each other this sort of topic shouldn't have had to come up like it did. But you brought it up and let the animal out of the bag. Yes you are over reacting. He was honest. for some reason he thought you were mature enough to take the answer. but apparently he was wrong. and now you are using sex as a weapon against him because he was honest. Moreover bringing racism into all of this. race doesn't have anything to do with it. Everyone has qualities of beauty in them. to think that because your race makes you more superior than another race seems lopsided and very immature.

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  • I find most Asian girls are prettier than white girls! A majority of them are so far out of my league it's crazy. 😫😭😖

    Honestly, you should appreciate his honesty. You already knew she was prettier than you. You asked the question and he told you the truth rather than what you want to hear. That makes him an honest person, which should make every compliment he's ever given you that much more special because you know he means it. I think you're overreacting. Denying him sex and using that catty little comment is only going to make you alone in the end. Trust me, that's the best way to push somebody away, is to be jealous and hold it against your partner. I almost ruined my marriage by being immature like that. Though I never withheld sex from him, I've done other things to hold my jealousy against him.

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  • You're going overboard. Not even kidding. C'mon, looks aren't even everything. She may be prettier, but what if she's an absolute slut, a total bitch, or really stupid? It kind of neutralizes it. Furthermore, if you know the answer already, why press for your bf to lie to you? I think it's better that he did tell you his truthful thoughts because lying to you may not have been an insult to your feelings, but it would have been an insult to your intelligence. I personally find the second to be more offensive.

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  • Obviously she's prettier. Get used to it. Most white guys want to be with Asian girls. In fact studies have been done and us Asian girls are preferred over all other races. On average we are just sexier. Smooth, perfect skin, seductive eyes, legs men (and woman) want to just worship, slender hourglass figures, and the fact is most of us (contrary to what the jealous ones say) have a perfect heart shaped ass. We can wear ANYTHING and look good. And we know how to listen, flirt, and eventually, yeah... your man becomes OUR man. His honesty is just foreshadowing... his best friend is an Asian girl, and that is no accident.

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