My boyfriend of three years moved to another school so we don't see each other as often as before. He has a new classmate there who is his best friend in the school, and she is absolutely beautiful. She's Korean, has beautiful black hair, perfect skin, and a perfect body. So I'm threatened by her looks.
One day I asked my boyfriend if he thought she was prettier than me and he said, "Well she is pretty." And I said "That's not what I asked, I asked if she was prettier. Be honest." He tried to change the topic at first but I demanded for the answer and he said yes. I already knew she was prettier and I know he was honest, but I wanted him to say I was prettier.
When you're in a relationship, shouldn't you think your partner is the prettiest in the world? Especially if you're in love with them? My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in a week because when he wants to, I tell him, "Go to that Korean girl who's prettier than me." So we've fought a lot this week. My boyfriend says I'm not mature and I should appreciate his honesty because most men would lie.
Am I overreacting? Isn't my boyfriend a jerk? I find it very racist that he would say an Asian is prettier than me, when I'm White.
Most Helpful Guy
He was honest, you asked, you kept asking. It wasn't racist, I recommend you to look up the term before shouting it out. What you make of it is racist though, as if white people are always prettier than other races.
With that said, he's with you. Not with her. Looks aren't the only thing that make a relationship. I'd suggest you to try and get over this and not shut him down by repeatedly telling him to go to that Korean girl, otherwise, he just might and you'll make another question saying he's a jerk for doing what you told him to.3
Most Helpful Girl
Personally in my eyes yes, I think your partner should be the most beautiful person in your life. I know that for me, when I'm in love with a guy, it's impossible that another guy can be more attractive because the love that I feel for my partner is beyond the love or attraction I could ever feel with someone else. Obviously I will still find other guys good looking and such, but when my partner asks if I think another guy is more attractive then the answer could never be yes because of the fact that I'm in love with him and that makes him far more attractive than any other guy. So with that said, I understand why you feel hurt and angry. I would too for sure. Problem is... there's a chance that he probably said that without realizing the complications. The mere fact that he's with you, is enough proof that there must be something he feels for you, that he doesn't feel for this other girl. You're the one he's committed to and you've come a long way so there must be many special memories between you two. Talk it out with him and ask him to explain what he meant by she's prettier. If he meant that in a way that suggests he'd rather want to be with her than you and that he's losing his feelings, then it's time to reconsider the relationship. But if he can still declare that you're the only girl he truly loves and wants to be with then I think you should look past this. Perhaps explain to him what I said at the top of my answer. Tell him that you feel like you should be the prettiest because of his love for you. See what he has to say about that.
I don't think you're overreacting but I don't see how his comment was racist. That's slightly taking it too far. But it was a jerky thing to say.2