How can I break from being in love with someone I've been with for 7 years that doesn't love me the same way?

i have learned over the years of being with my boyfriend that maybe its time for me to let it go. We always bump heads and he seem like he's never happy when he's around me. I always try to make him happy and keep the relationship spontaneous but he seems like he's not interested in trying to make things better in our relationship. he always has something negative to say and we can never be on the same page. I have never cheated on him or gave him a reason to question my loyalty the way he's done me. we have a 2 year old daughter and he is the only man I've ever loved as much as i love him but he keeps hurting me by the negativity and bashful words. one minute he likes me the next minute he wants nothing to do with me. I am extremely emotional and it has gotten worse over the years because of how the relationship is going. he is the love of my life but im starting to believe that he looks at me as a mistake. i've been trying to find ways to cope with the idea of me and him not being together anymore but its so hard i just can't seem to fully walk away and give up on something that isn't healthy for me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry to hear your situation.

    Have you tried to determine what the root cause may be? His unhappiness may hide some underlying problem. Common problems are: financial issues, he doesn't want to be a father, unsatisfied with his job. These can manifest in general unhappiness and irritability, which is ultimately directed at you in the home.

    If breaking up is on your mind, I would place your child's welfare as top priority above your own.
    For example, if you break up, who holds custody of the child, or would it be joint custody? How will you support yourself and your family. Are you expecting child-care from him? What do you do if he doesn't pay. What do you do if he wants nothing to do with the child and provides no help raising your child?

    Also, if you stay, a child growing up in a negative household isn't good either. If I were you, I would list out my priorities in descending order, and make a decision based on how many of those priorities you can satisfy with your final decision.

    • thanks. those are some of the things that have crossed my mind. I consider all of them and i also consider the heart of my own. it so hard trying to make the best decision because emotions have become a big role in why i haven't made any changes.

    • I would seek advice from those who are close to you. They will provide better perspective with a clear mind that is not affected by emotions.

      However, and I cannot stress this enough because your youth makes you more prone to this.
      Do not let uncertainty or the magnitude of your decision stall you from choosing a path.
      Younger people who are inexperienced in life often freeze when faced with big decisions.

      For example, many kids don't know what to study in college.
      They take courses without any real direction. Then they graduate and freeze again, never thinking the type of career they want. What ends up is a college graduate in a major that is completely useless because they haven't chosen a career path. Then they end up working retail jobs. Seen it hundreds of times.

      When you make your decision, look forward. Never backward. You never know whether its the right decision, but at least you act with the best intention.

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