Long story short, My girlfriend was under the assumption I've been cheating on her occasionally when I haven't and even if i tried, i couldn't go through with it. So a couple of days ago, she got drunk and gave a bj to some guy. I found out by her accidently texting the details of the night with excitement that was supposed to go to her friend but it went to me instead, When i confronted her about, she lied and said it was her friend borrowing her friend than eventually she admitted it was herself.
I felt so hurt and i did snap at her, she was litterally the center of my life, I used to rush home on purpose to talk to her after work, almost everyday. It brought such happiness to my soul being with her but now and I know she felt the same exact way for me. Now I feel confused. I only want her, so what now? is there hope for us?
If you were in my shoes, Be honest, what would you do?
- Move on without her.
- Forgive and slowly work on fixing it.
Most Helpful Girl
This is a tough one. It's hard to give up on someone that you invested your time and effort into making it work with. I have an idea how you feel, I couldn't vote either one it's more complicated than that I think. You need to do some self searching. Here's the thing. If she believed so much that you were cheating when you were not, to the point that she allows herself to be unfaithful, what's to stop her from thinking you're cheating again and doing it again? You need to talk to her, she needs to understand the level of hurt and betrayal she has done to you and that it will take time for you to forgive and she needs to get help for those insecurities. On the other hand you need to ask yourself some questions... you already planned your lives and you're looking forward to it with her and you want to stay but can you honestly forgive her and not hold that grudge against her for the rest of your lives? Because if you can't wholeheartedly forgive it will haunt your decisions, the way you communicate and the entire relationship. At the same time, if you leave her do you think you can be happy again and happier with someone else? Obviously you'll be scarred for a while before you move on even if you're not together... Will it be worth it to you? Will she always be trying to prove she is sorry and you will never understand? So you need to speak to her, have a heart to heart hear what she says, try not to fly off the handle, ask everything you need to ask eg. Who is the guy, if you know him, if she's still in contact with him, if she's done it before, would she have told you if she didn't make the text mistake? Then think long and hard about which scenario you have more potential happiness in... being with her a year from now, or being with someone new that's supposedly faithful next year from now/ being by yourself and focusing on making yourself happy next year from now. If she seems genuinely sorry rather than self righteous, there's a better chance of working it out.