So I just realized my ex boyfriend is a sociopath?

As the title implies... anyways, I'm having a very hard time with this realization... it's like losing him all over again except this time I have confirmation that I never meant anything to him, that he took actually pleasure from hurting me time and time again. Has anyone been through this and do you have any advice that could help me get past this...


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of people don't really understand what being sociopath really entails.

    If he's hurting you physically then leave, fast. But if it all seems like mind games then try talking to him and telling him what you're feeling, it's true that sociopaths like myself have a hard time identifying and empathizing with others but we do care about people, in fact a lot of the time we need to have someone there for us to make us feel whole and normal.

    I know I hurt a lot of people around me because of how I am but I am aware of it, I always urge people to tell me if I do something offensive or hurtful because I am not always aware that I have done it, it's never our intention to hurt people, we just don't understand how others are thinking. Unfortunately because of this we tend to be manipulative too. If you're really worried about him hurting you intentionally then you don't have to talk with him, I just know that I've inadvertently lost people I cared deeply about because they didn't understand what it's like and I couldn't explain it at the time.

    That said some sociopaths are bad people and know it, it can be a fine line.

    • The more I read online, the more I believe he's a sociopath.. but in my heart, I really wish he weren't. How did you know you were one? Is it at all possible he doesn't know he's one? He had a dog for years, so that kinda throws me off a bit... he got it as a puppy and it died of old age. I'm so confused, I don't know what to think anymore, I know he's the man I loved the most and had it not been for the lies and sneakiness, we could have been very happy together.

    • I just kinda found out, through part of some test my therapist had me do while I was seeing him for depression a while back. He wasn't even testing for that.

      It is completely possible that he doesn't know if he is one. In fact it's more likely that he doesn't, most people don't actually know what the sociopathic tendencies are so they won't think of the possibility when they experience them. I don't see anything weird about him having a dog though, they love unconditionally and that can be great for us, like I said some sociopaths don't feel normal unless they have something to care about and that cares about them.

      Though there are many different tendencies that sociopaths can show and they do not have to (and rarely do) have them all.

      Don't diagnose him using the internet or anything I've said though, only a professional should do that, I'm just giving you some information. I don't know what more I can tell you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Move on with your life. Forget about him and never do the things that hurt you to others you meet.

  • In this situation it is often the case that he would be controlling and you would be a 'trophy' partner. These people rarely have deep feelings for anyone or empathy.
    You confirm this in your sentence ' he took actually pleasure from hurting me time and time again'.
    They act the passionate partner but it is an act as they try to grasp and achieve what they see others enjoying. They can be dangerous people who destroy the harmony in other people's lives.
    It sounds more like a psychopath to me rather than a sociopath. Run away.


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