How do you get over the first person you fell in love with?

There isn't a good way to put it, I was so blinded by who I thought she was that I never saw who she is. The first girl I fell in love with is a slut who jumps from guy to guy (and girl) at the slightest feeling of attraction and has no clue that she steam rolls over the opposite sex. I don't like her as a person, I don't want her in my life, but she still has that hold on me. I know that I would still stop what I'm doing and help her if she called me out of the blue, I know that if she showed up at my door at 1am with a black eye I'd be going to jail, and I know that even though I can't stand who she is she still has a grip on me. To put it shortly, her personality gets in the way of her very good looks.

How do you get over the first person you ever loved?


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What Girls Said 2

  • this is not the response you want to hear but i dont think we ever do. i mean, we move on and date other people, but we never really do lose the attraction for them. and for good reason! you said yourself that you dont like her as a person but just her looks. that doesn't mean you still love her, you just love the idea of her and how it made you feel to have a beautiful person to date. it doesn't mean you like her as a person though. i think that with ever person we ever liked, crushed on, fantasized about, dated, even maybe married, we have a scar of sorts. some are bigger and deeper than others but theyre still there. i know that if someone, anyone from my past came back, even if they were a horrible person, id still be attracted and have feelings for them because a: they are attractive and i can't help noticing that, and b: remembering the feeling i had to be in a relationship with someone attractive and how it made me feel. bottom line, it sounds like mentally youve mostly gotten over her. its just the amotionall part, the mental part being you wanting to be in a relationship and have those same feelings. she just happens to be the most recent thing you had which makes your heart see her as the most viable option. you just need to resist that and move on and put your mind and heart on someone else and better than her. then you won't feel it as much anymore

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  • People change and life just goes on. Once you break up with someone that doesn't mean the world stops spining. My ex was my first love and our relationship lasted for about 5 years. He changed out of the blue and I just didn't know what else to do besides leave of course. My ex started drinking and since then has never stopped and I just didn't want to stay with someone like that. I wanted to help him of course but he didn't want my help so I decided to let go. I see my ex and I as strangers. The way I moved on was I distracted myself with school and going out with my friends and just acting like he didn't exist at school and it helped me a lot, it was hard but it was worth it. Something told me he wasn't right for me it just took me a while to realize that. I don't like what my ex has become but we can't change people if they want to change they will change on there own, it just takes time. But I don't talk to my ex, contact him whatsoever, I just stay focused on my schoolwork and my studies and move on with my life. It was difficult for me to get over him, its like he made me special in a way that I cannot explain and then just right out of the blue he pulled the rug out right from underneath me and left my heart shattered. It was like being chewed up and spit out. I felt like he used me and he mistreated me. Move on my friend and go out and meet other people and enjoy your life. Put her in the back of your head cut off all contact with her do not even speak to her just move on with your life. There are plenty more fishes in the sea and I am sure with time and effort you will find your perfect match.

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