Am I getting led on?

Me and my gf of a year and a half have been on a break for 3 months now, we recently went on holiday together and things were better we got on like an house on fire and things were great.

Since coming back I've missed her so much and finding it hard to be without her. she said she still loves me and its only the distance that is the only major issue now.

I said i would move up there and start a new life with her there, just seems like she is dragging her feet a lot as she says thats its a big step for both of us and we need to make sure we are ready for it 100% I've asked her about it a couple of times now and she just said that we were getting on great on holiday, now were back im pushing all this on her, just give it time she said.

conversation has dried up again a bit and were not txting as much, and she has told me that she's not telling me not to text her just dont mention that in every message.

I love her more than anything and want to make this work but i can't keep hurting like this over analyzing all the little details.

just want to talk it over with her and if she wants me to move on then i gotta suck up and do it, but all this limbo is making me worse.

Before we went on holiday i pretty much told her i was over it and she said she got upset by that, i was just talking shit really im not at all.

just dont know what to do at all, i want her but dont want this shit feeling and if i try talking to her about things im just coming across as pushy/needy.

any suggestions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • With being on a "Break" and Going on this Spectacular with Practically no strings attached, just mainly being hooked at the hip as far as sleeping arrangements went, she got real comfy and cozy with the love potion And the Notion And Now------Just seems like she is dragging her feet a lot.
    Yes, she is. I see a Raised Red flag sign that she likes the way things are, doesn't really want to change Anything Back to the Way we were and being this "distance" is really now the dealbreaker, with her giving you her own hymns and haws on the subject matter, she doesn't want you over there at this given moment.
    She would feel she has no space, no privacy, be tied down like a horse who can't get to water scenario. And with all of this, it should be quite clear, dear, that this Break you both have been on for the last few months, has done her own heart some good and she wants to Stay on it.
    All you can really do is be patient, understanding and text her as if nothing is wrong. Give her time to maybe feel as strong you do about Missing the Kissing. And if she felt like rockets were going off on this trip you were on, perhaps another in another time Might make her change her mind and she Won't "Mind"-------Move up there and make a new life with her.
    However, no guarantees, so you need to do your own soul searching so you don't continue down a beaten path of having this "sh*t feeling."And yes, being in 'Limb' just makes you feel jumpy, helpless but what you need to do is start Jumping to some conclusions and begin your own beguine of "Analyzing More of the little details" with her and Any future you might or might not have with someone you Know in your own heart and mind you love.
    Don't push her, don't make her feel you are Pushing her in any way. You will only "Push" her further away and maybe into the arms of another or just in Harm's way with wanting more than she does right now.
    Good luck. xxx

    • Thanks a lot for the reply and you are definitely speaking sense. Even her mum wants us to sort things out as she told me while we were on our trip, she saod there was never any big issues just little things building up into something big and she needed a break.

      Just wish she would tell me she doesn't wanna be with me if she wants to break it off for good but i think she would have already done that if she did...

      probably just need to take a step back for now, i said to her i need to re evaluate myself and im understanding the mistakes I've made now, jus said to her i need time to overcome this.

      wish i didn't have emotions sometimes lol...

    • Show All
    • well she agreed to a phone call, im thinking of just sending her a rose through interflora and just including a little message on there, nothing pushy but just to say im comitted to making this work.

      i think she's built a wall around me at the moment being more defensive because she doesn't want to be hurt again, like she says we need be ready 100% for the move as its a big step.

      least we are still talking but its still not big conversations just how are you? etc.

    • Thank you for asking, under the weather a bit with asmall cough but alive... lol... Glad to see the phone deal panned out, it is a start, maybe can lead to Skype when you can get her to agree... Yes, sounds lovely and a lovely gesture with the rose making you coming out like smelling like arose and good deal too... Go slow and just be easy no pushy and she will come around and hopefully everything will come up flowers for you both. xx

Most Helpful Guy

  • Pull back completely, let her come to you... start looking for other girls to be involved with.

    • just dont text her at all? Just scared that she will forget about me for good if i do that :/ but probably for the best isn't it right now

    • She will not "forget about you at all" unless she just isn't interested in being with you. In which case the end result is the same.

    • yeh know what you mean, I've never known her to be dishonest with me so can't really believe she would lead me on but just my mind overthinking things i suppose :/ thanks man

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What Girls Said 1

  • This is exactly what happened with my ex and I literally the holiday together and everything. Notice how i said ex. He kept pushing me to come up and see him despite me telling him i wasn't ready to, or not in the position to. Our conversations dried up, when we did talk it was only fighting, and i had to end it for the sake of both of us. If you want this relationship to work, you need to apologize for being pushy and you need to work through things together, work out something that works for both of you, obviously she isn't ready to take the next step, so support her decision, work with her, and eventually she will be more than ready to take that step with you.

    • thanks for your reply, i know yeh i want to work things out but everytime i mention us it seems she doesn't want to talk about it, i fear she's already moved on and im being a bit led astray now which i hate and don't like to think she would do that to me giving me false hope.

      she's always been so honest with me im not sure if its my thoughts overthinking everything or if she is just trying to keep me on a hook?

      surely though she wouldn't say those things if she didn't feel like that? i don't know just getting really hurt here and jus feel like i can't turn to her and say anything, is there anything you can suggest me saying to her that won't annoy her or push her further away? thanks again :)

    • im just sort of thinking i don't know whether to just call it off now for good, just feel as if this is going to on too long and its already causin me hurt now, if further down the line an this carries on i think il go insane, i want to say something to her but don't know what and its going to be hard to end it for good because i do feel we can make it work, but it just feels all one sided at the moment and i dont know how much longer i can carry on this way now :(

    • Sorry for the late reply but there is always the option of ending it now to see how you both do without eachother and just keep in mind that there's a chance you guys can get back together at a later date, it's the whole if you love her let her go, if it was meant to be you'll find your way back to eachother if its not then you can move on, but live your life in the mean time

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