Most Helpful Guy
I am sorry you are in so much pain. Yes, love is tough and rejection is a killer.
Expectations are preplanned resentments. As such you need to release him, bless him and move on. He has your #, if he wanted you he would be calling you. It is just human nature to want hurt to go back to people that hurt us. We all do it, don't feel bad. When it happens don't let it rent space in your head, release it and practice mindfulness of the present.
You did good occupying yourself with healthy activities. But you need to find a new love to dedicate yourself to. Find someone that will appreciate you, worship you and commit to you if that is what you want.