When will I stop missing him? and why do I want him to be unhappy?

I broke up with my bf of 18 months 8 months ago due to long distance (longest and first relationship). We tried 10 months long distance after meeting in an exchange program of school. i did everything to forget him.. no contact, go out, go to concerts festivals, dont be alone, pick new hobbies, focus on myself, do sports, travel... none helped at all. we talked three times after bu and i initiated all by sending emails. he was answering quickly but i feel in a way he was trying to say dont write me i am so happy look my life is so awesome without you when he wrote me lots of details. so i completely stopped.. it has been around 4 months and a little more since our last talk. i removed all kinds of gifts, reminiscence things, photos, social media since the first day of bu. but i ve been thinking about him a lot. there is not a single day that he isn't in my mind. i think about him kissin me, our holidays, funny nights we had, funny convos, games we played.. like every detail. and i want him to come reach out me and tell me he misses me secretly i guess i dont know. but i want him back even though i know it is impossible and i do not want to humiliate myself by calling him and telling him i miss him.. therefore i want him to be unhappy and notice that i am his everything, he made a mistake.. like ridiculous thoughts in my mind.. i dont know what to do and i need any kind of help to get rid of this feeling and these awful thoughts.. please help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am sorry you are in so much pain. Yes, love is tough and rejection is a killer.
    Expectations are preplanned resentments. As such you need to release him, bless him and move on. He has your #, if he wanted you he would be calling you. It is just human nature to want hurt to go back to people that hurt us. We all do it, don't feel bad. When it happens don't let it rent space in your head, release it and practice mindfulness of the present.

    You did good occupying yourself with healthy activities. But you need to find a new love to dedicate yourself to. Find someone that will appreciate you, worship you and commit to you if that is what you want.

    Good luck!


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What Guys Said 1

  • keep dating other guys. just keep swimming.

    • It doesn't help. First reason is i am not the woman who guys wanna date apparently since i am 24 and had only one bf.. Second i dont get to meet many guys here I don't know why.. All my social environments clubs and etc are coveres with women

    • there's still no excuse to stop trying.

What Girls Said 2

  • This is very hard and I totally understand; it took me 2 years to get over my ex, and I only completely forgot him until I fell for another guy. I think you must try seeing other guys. Try online dating, set up blind dates...
    Or try looking for good online friends, you can try this site called Japan Guide to meet people from all over the world.

    If you need anything, just someone to talk to, message me.

    Good luck and take care, girl. <3

  • i just recently went through the same exact thing. me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up and i was a complete mess after it. i felt so desperate to get him back. definitely DO NOT give in to the temptation to call him, it will not be worth it. I did that and ended up making a complete idiot out of myself.
    I'm going to tell you that it's definitely going to take time to get over him no matter what. The best thing you can do is have absolutely no contact with him no matter how much you may want to. Also, maybe try meeting a new guy! sometimes that helps make you realize there are other guys out there and it can help you move on quicker. I wish the best of luck! and trust me YOU WILL GET OVER HIM! you won't feel this pain forever. There is someone better for you out there


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