Why am I Hung up help its screwing up my potential relationships?

I'm so hung up on This guy that I dated over a year ago. We were never together long was about 2 months we were friends before that and decided to take it a step further , the problem was he was moving faster then I was. I wanted to take it slow , I had been in a previous relationship were I was hurt and I was absolutely terrified he was going to do the same so I broke up with him. A fortnight later I realised I wanted him back but I was to stubborn to admit it i slutted around. he and I were talking again we spoke on and off and he got mad about some dicisions Id made so I got the impression he wanted nothing to do with me so I deleted him of Facebook he got so angry we had a argument so the talking stopped then one night we made up and slept together all thoses strong feelings come back. I got the impression we were getting back together but everything changed he went all werid but the girl I am I tried to get him back and it came across desperate. so now he won't speck to me as 6 month down the line I'm still hung up and distorting potential relationships and I have no idea why is this normal?


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  • Yes normal! Good thing is that you recognise and have thought about where things didn't go quite right. Also understanding it is having an effect on new potential relationships is a good thing.

    I think you need to give yourself more time to heal. Forgive yourself of the things you look back on and regret. Forgive him (in your head) of anything he did to upset you. Try not to think about the 'what if' or 'if only' thoughts.
    You sound like you are ready to move on so try and think about what happened less. It is all done now, the events can't be changed, although when you do think about it. Think how you would do something differently, think of what you have learnt.

    It sounds as though you are accepting that this relationship wasn't and isn't going to work and that is great.
    Sometimes deep down you know it's not right b know that it hurts. It feels like it takes to long to feel easier. You can't stop going over things in your head.

    Keep busy, see your friends, live your dreams and go out doing your favourite things. Allow yourslef to think about this sometimes, but don't let it rule your thoughts.
    Don't pressure yourself to feel better and jump for someone new. Take things day by day. And if you meet someone, take it slow if you like, no harm in taking things slow if thats what you want.

    It took me over a year and a half to get over my ex. I was single for 2 years then met someone and was terrified. had never taken me that long to get over someone and I was affraid of the hurt again. So I took things really slowly. He stuck around even though I was reluctant and wouldn't get physical, but that showed he liked me. There have been ups and downs but we are nearly 2 years in, and i'm so glad I took the chance even though I was scared,

    Sometimes you have to risk hurt for the right people, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
    But you must allow your self time if you need it. What your experiencing is totally normal xx


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