Ex breaks NC, is kind, then few days later is nasty and distant?

So my ex broke NC, she followed it up quickly trying to inquire about how I was, wanting to make plans (which now she is backing out of lol). But the weird thing is she's being hostile when I'm not even initiating contact.

As an example:

Last night calls me out of the blue
Me: Hi
Her: Did my family member call you?
Me: No why?
Her: they need something if you help them at all I'll never speak to you again, they are causing problems in our family and I know you like to help people.
Me: Well the never talked to me, but I promise I won't

Basically hostile if I even ask how their day was [I'm annoying] even though i'm not initiating contact at all, simply responding when asked, called, etc.

Also lots of one word answers "ok, good, yup"

I guess I just don't understand how right after NC it seemed like there was effort being made to now this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like she is over you but is going through an emotional period and you are always there for her. She is using you for a punching bag.

    • I texted her today about thoughts on reconciliation and she said its "going to be a lot of work" She's a very angry person to begin with (Passive aggressive) which is why this is all so hard to read.

    • She's also still sending good morning texts which is odd...

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going through almost the exact thing you're going through right now. I don't know what your back story is, but it seems like she's wanting to talk to you. I read that there's really no borders between love and hate, and typically it's easier to hate someone than to express how much you care about them. She may be hostile. She may say some nasty shit, but remember that she's saying it, she's contacting you, which means she's THINKING of you. Nomatter what, DO NOT under any circumstances allow any negative thing she says to bother you, and don't respond emotionally. Just keep calm and don't let it bother you. There's more behind what she's doing, and only time will tell when she's ready to speak her mind truthfully. Ride it out, and live your life in the meantime.

    • Yeah bro... I mean I spent most of our relationship trying to channel her anger (stems from childhood) and I've snapped been calm, etc. tried every way imaginable to reach her.

      but since the break just no point if she doesn't wanna hang its not worth it letting her know I care as sad as that sounds.. I just know the only way back from the abyss is through face-to-face... Texting a few words a day will only pull me further away.

    • Show All
    • Well, basically everything that's happening to you you now. In my situation, we are not together right now, and I don't even know if she's seeing anyone or what. She just said friends so I'm leaving it at that for right now. With you though, like I said before, don't overthink anything she says, and I I were you, I'd rethink this relationship all together. Why would you want to be with someone who talks to you like that anyway? Billions of people in the world, I'm certain you can find and have a better partner. Things still look kinda rocky right now. Let her speak, but listen more than you talk. Hear her out but don't be a door mat, and if you say something to piss her off, don't beat yourself up over it too much. Just ride it out and see what happens. Keep me posted!

    • Drop me a private message JohnDoe42 I'd be down to talk to you driven my friends nuts talking about all this.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't respond to her and have no contact, see how much she likes it. Watch how fast she will change her tune. And if she does change her tune don't fall for it.


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