Girlfriend Essentially Told Me To F Off?

We met in high school. Started off not wanting a relationship at all, but she was so intriguing. I fell for her pretty hard. And she was right along with me. We spent the rest of the year nearly inseparable. I graduated. She had another year left so I stuck around so I could move to the city she ended up going to college in. She finally graduates. Spend the summer together nearly every day for hours. She moved off to college. I got my stuff together and moved to an apartment close by. Two weeks later she dumps me. I was completely blindsided.

She told me she didn't have enough time for me and that it was killing her inside. She said she was terrified that since her schedule was so busy for the next four years that we would end up resenting each other. She said that I might not understand it now, but I would thank her for it later. She said she didn't cheat on me and that she doesn't have an interest in another relationship.

What I don't understand is why. She made a several conscious decisions to fill her time up. Said she wasn't going to join a sorority. Joined a sorority. Joined a work/study program. Asked and received 10 more hours a week. All that would be busy enough without her full time class schedule that involves advanced courses. Essentially she chose school over me as far as I can tell. But I can't wrap my head around what seems to simply be fear. All I want is the truth so I can have closure and move on with my life. All I want for her is to be happy.

I don't understand why she would get heavily involved in getting me to her and keeping me there (Hell, we paid the next months rent in advance an hour before she dumped me), and then suddenly have a change of heart and tell me to go and live my life and be me. It seems like I wasn't even given a chance to establish myself there and us to work out any kind of schedule to see one another. Why would she tell me to essentially fuck off and cut all contact? Does that mean I did something wrong?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm that's unfortunate. Welp such is life... to be honest, it seems like your life has been revolving around her life a bit too much. I know she was very important to you, so you sacrificed a lot to make it work, but she might be one of those girls who wants her freedom while she's still young. She may feel as if your relationship is getting serious, but doesn't wanna settle down just yet. Judging by how active she is in college, she seems pretty driven and adventurous... she's like that because she puts herself first in life (this isn't a bad thing)... so she's making an important decision to be free and experience/enjoy this stage in her life. Not many girls are like her. They would be ready to sacrifice their experiences for the sake of their relationship. She's not one of them. Move on with your life but try not to be hostile. Whats the point.. life goes on..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nope not necessarily. Doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong from what I'm reading. It just sounds like she knows that she's going to be busy and wants to spend all of her time with you. What she says may be the truth and have to accept it for what it is. Even if she broke it up just to move on with her life, you have to understand that you have one as well and just need to focus on yourself. Worrying about her too much is only going to put you in depression. When girls are emotionally disturbed, they refrain from staying in contact to relieve themselves of the guilt and pain. If it hurts too much, then try to find her, have a sit down to see if there is something that can be negotiated, but make sure that you reassure her that everything will be ok. Hope this helps!

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What Girls Said 1

  • She wanted to live college life and experience all the different options. She didn't feel strong enough about you to settle down and didn't want to resent you as she watched her possibilities pass her by.

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What Guys Said 1

  • She told you that it was over. Take her at her word. Move on and do it today.
    Life is not fair and unless you are born with a name such as Rothschild you do not get who or what you want in life.
    Keep your dignity, do not become a stalker, do not become bitter. Move on.
    Speaking as one who is also at university (I am the creepy old man in a lecture theatre full of girls her age) I can say that if she is taking the work seriously she will not have time for much else. I work day and night and take only a few hours here and there for the gym and karate training. A dedicated student has no time, no life.

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