5+ Years relationship gone. GF lost feelings for me, for what seems like no real reason. I'm lost?

My gf and I had been dating almost 6 years, we met late in high school and are both each others first love. Everything had been amazing, she was my dream girl, we rarely ever fought, but if we did we came out stronger in the end, and it was usually silly stuff anyway.

Last week she left me. Told me that what we had was amazing, and that she still loves me and wants to be in our lives, but that she had been thinking too hard and decided that she doesn't know if what we had was real love, or if she just felt this way because I'm all she's ever known.

This crushed me, and I didn't know what to do. I'm so scared, I didn't beg for her or anything not to go, but I am so afraid to lose her. She was everything to me and made me feel the best I ever have. We joked about getting married/having kids and all sorts of things. Talked about how something like this would never happen... and then just poof. She can't love me anymore.

She is recently out of college and under lots of stress/pressure from parents and needing to find a job, etc. Maybe she is just transitioning into an adult and doesn't want to be responsible, idk.

But it sucks, I'm so confused, and have gone on no contact as of 4 days ago, because I know we both need time and space and because I want to focus on me. I know I shouldn't hold onto a sliver of hope, but I can't help it. I love her so much, and I don't want her to go, and I just cannot understand why this happened. And no, I'm not searching for a reason why it happened, because I know it has nothing to do with me, its all on her. It just sucks. ;_; In the end I know I just want us both to be happy, but dammit. I was so in love with her. Who knows... maybe she will return to me when she's ready. I shouldn't dwell on the negative. It's so hard... I miss her. What am I doing...
10 days NC now, I have been keeping busy. She has texted me twice, once just asking how I was and the second time wishing me a good halloween. I didn't reply to either, but it made me feel good to know she hasn't just forgotten me. I have been thinking a lot about myself and had some little realizations on things, but its still very hard sometimes. My b-day is next week, if she tries to contact me, should I just tell her a quick "Im not ready yet." or just a "No."? Or just ignore her? Not sure.
Turns out I was right all along and the truth is she left me cause life got too stressful and her way of rebelling was to push her family and me away. She also had met a guy before we broke up, thought he was hot; practically drooling over him. Turns out she's been fucking him and has repressed and forced away all her feelings for me, convinced herself that its "true love" with this guy who's using her and lost all respect and dignity she had. Pretty pathetic. One day it's going to hit her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like she wants to explore different men. Probably looking for her emptiness to be filledn the wrong places.

    • I feel like that too sometimes, and I hate it. She is NOT actively seeking any other relationships tho, and said she needs to be on her own. I just don't know. I hate this all so much. I feel like she just had some confused thoughts and let them break us apart because she thought too hard about them, even though she still loves me.

      I just can't understand how she feels and why. It was so sudden and I was blind sighted... giving up on something you hold so dear just because you thought too hard on "they're all i've ever known" seems so pathetic to me and I feel like all my dreams have been stomped on.

    • I understand. I been through something similar. The only difference was that he was very harsh and careless and he wanted to see other people. I was in a very deep depression and I put up a fight with it and prayed a lot. Everything happens for a reason, season or a life time. Just let her go through whatever she needs to and focus on another goal and over time, you will be suprised how strong you really are.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I could understand the stress from parents, growing up and trying to find work but I thought at least she could have told you about this before the break-up. It sounds like she feels so overwhelmed with life that she didn't want to drag you down or is afraid of hurting you if what she felt wasn't true love. Try giving her some space then contact her to see why this break-up happened. I'm sure she still loves you and could use some support :3

    • We still love each other, we just aren't "in love" now... I hope the space helps us both, and maybe it will clear her head and she will come back when the time is right. I'm trying to stay no contact for at least a month or until SHE is ready to find me.

    • Show All
    • I have a good feeling you will do just fine as long as you two aren't willing to let go and still love another :3 Maybe once she feels at peace, she'll make more time open for you.

    • Thanks. I hope so, and I don't want to hold onto false hope, and that's why I'm trying to focus on myself and my own feeling during this NC period. (To see if I will still feel the same a while later.) :\ But I really don't want to lose her after 5 years... we shared so much together and I want to do so much more with her, I really thought she was the one for me. If this is the end of us, for what feels like no real reason, I feel like it would just make me spiteful.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Women are ao stupid. Give up things so easily. I mean you guys were marriage material


What Guys Said 2

  • Sorry bro... At least you found that out now. Hang in there.

  • Did you go to a different college? That may be the reason. College is really good at ripping relationships appart.

    • We do, and I haven't graduated yet. But that's the thing, I was always afraid something like this would happen when she was away and it didn't! Now we've finally reached a point in life where we can actually be more free and spend time together/do things on our own and she just gives it up... I don't get it. ;_;

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